


Tranquil

by cbanks37



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Abominations (Dragon Age), Bad Templars (Dragon Age), Circle Mages, Circle of Magi, Demons, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Good Templars (Dragon Age), Investigations, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), M/M, Mages (Dragon Age), Mystery, Nightmares, Rage Demon (Dragon Age), Rite of Tranquility, Romance, Slow Burn, Templars (Dragon Age), The Blight (Dragon Age), The Gallows, Tranquil Mages, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-01-16 06:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21266369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbanks37/pseuds/cbanks37
Summary: Amara Gritton is a shapeshifting mage who is trying to escape the Blight. After taking a ship to Kirkwall, she finds herself in a whole heap of trouble.





	1. Pirates, Seasickness, and Other Unpleasant Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've really written in ten years, so please be gentle, lol. I'll gladly take any constructive criticism as I try to take you on this journey of mine!

_I hate the water_, she thinks to herself as she fights back another urge to vomit._ And pirates too._

It had started out as a decent escape from the Blight in Ferelden. She tried to survive against the Darkspawn as long as she could, but there’s only so much one mage can do. Once she had come to the realization she needed to leave, most of the more legitimate Fereldan ships had left. With only a couple of sovereigns to her name, she had been forced to settle for what she thought was a ragged crew of fellow Fereldans fleeing the Blight. So had the thirty other people on board the ship.

But it was pirates. _How could I have been so stupid?_ She thinks again as she struggles against the ropes on her wrist. _Or rather, how desperate?_ The first few days had been fine, except for the terrible sea-sickness ravaging her body. The crew had been almost courteous until they reached the open sea, then all Fade broke loose. She would have put up more of a fight but the seasickness made her too weak to conjure any real magic. Of course, once they realized she was a mage, the crew quickly focused on taking her down. The last thing she remembered was a blow to the head and then darkness.

She also lost the trust of her fellow passengers when her true identity was revealed. Where before she had friendly greetings and questions about a lone young woman traveling, now she only received scowls and whispers of, “Apostate”. She was no stranger to the unkindness but it still stung a little.

She takes only a moment to dwell on this fact before quickly taking account of what the pirates had left on her. Her belt with her daggers attached was gone. _Of course._ She was left in the light brown tunic and brown leggings she’d worn onto the ship. But she was never without her magic.

As she stretches her hands out to grab the rope around her wrists, she begins to call heat to her fingers. By focusing her mind, she is able to burn through the rope with the ease of a knife slicing butter. But before she makes any sign that she’s free, she looks at her surroundings.

It is midday and she can see the dust and filth of the ship floating in the rays of the sun. In front of her, she sees the other passengers awake and staring at her with mixed looks of fear and hatred._ I won’t get any help from this lot_, she thinks as she turns her head to look at the staircase leading to the deck._ Well, I may as well get this over with_. She looks back to the crowd of prisoners and puts her finger to her lips. Most look shocked but quickly nod in agreement. _At least they have the sense to know I’m their best shot out of here._ She stands quietly but stops when she feels a sudden dizziness. It seems her head wasn’t as clear as she thought but it doesn’t matter. It is either fight or die in this moment and she chooses to fight.

She braces herself against a wall to let the dizziness pass and then makes her way slowly to the staircase. Taking one step at a time, she slowly pushes the hatchdoor up and looks outside. In front of her she sees the mast of the ship and that’s all she can see. _Well shit_, she thinks as begins to sneak slowly on deck. Behind her are a couple of crates that hide her from view. She can hear the pirates laughing and talking as she braces herself against the mast in a crouched position. Slowly she begins to circle her hands around each other and focus on conjuring a fireball. She grins as she feels the heat of the fire between her hands. _Showtime_. She quickly stands away from the mast and hurls the fireball at two pirates at the stern of the ship. One takes the fireball full in the chest and is flung from the ship into the open water. The other draws his sword and begins a run towards her, minus his eyebrows. Behind her she hears shouting and the familiar voice of the captain.

“Get the mage! Kill the bitch!”, he bellows but all she can see is the pirate running towards her. He raises his sword above his head as he nears her but she quickly ducks and spins around him, conjuring another fireball as she does. Before he can turn around, fire is placed in the middle of his back and he’s dead before he hits the ground. Now facing the rest of the crew, she sees three more men and the captain. She stares them down and then uses her magic to call the dead man’s sword to her hand.

“Whats’a mage know about swordplay?” One of the men says as he begins to move towards her. “I ain’t never seen a mage with a sword afore”, he chuckles over confidently as he begins to make a lazy swing towards her left side. “I’m no ordinary mage,” she says and then focuses her mind to make her blade alight with fire. The man’s eyes widen as her flaming sword quickly parries his and he takes a step back before dropping into a better fighting stance. But it doesn’t matter because of her free hand, another fireball emerges and hits him in his chest. With his clothes on fire, the man leaps off the ship and is heard from no more.

She spins her blade in her hand before engaging the next man in combat. He swings his sword towards her neck but she deftly blocks the sword before kicking at the man’s legs. Being more aware than his predecessors, the pirate hops back in time to avoid her kick but moves in again with a slice at her left side. Again, she blocks his sword and then conjures another fireball, hitting this man in the legs. As he screams in pain he drops his sword, and she moves in quickly to remove his head from his shoulders. She looks up at the last pirate, who simply drops his sword and leaps overboard. All that’s left is the captain.

The captain laughs and begins swinging his sword nonchalantly, seeming unbothered by the fact his crew is dead. “That just means more gold for me,” he says before charging towards her. The man is massive, like a bull, but faster than she could have imagined. She sidesteps to the left but still catches his shoulder against her own. As she stumbles, he spins and his sword catches her on her left side. She yells in pain as she feels the cold steel slice into her flesh. Gritting her teeth, she straightens herself just in time to block another blow from above. The captain, in his bloodlust, seems unphased by the flames on her sword.

“Once I have you knocked out, the things I’m gonna do to that pretty little body would make you blush. Should’ve done it when I had the chance, “ he says as he swings another blow towards her injured left side. She blocks his blade and uses the pressure of the blades to push herself back a few feet. Then with all her focus, she summons a huge flame and aims it towards the captain. She hears inhuman screams as he burns to death and the smell of human flesh makes her want to vomit. She stops her onslaught and watches as the flaming captain flails over the railing into the sea. She smiles slightly as she collapses onto the deck.

A man comes from below with his hands still tied behind his back. He looks around to see that no one is on the ship except for the lone mage. He cautiously walks up to her and looks down, noticing that she’s bleeding from her side. He looks back to her face and says, “Who in Andraste’s tits are you?”

She looks at him with a smirk and says, “I am Amara”, before slipping into unconsciousness.


	2. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara is captured by a templar.

The sounds of voices greet her as she slowly begins to awake. She can feel warm sand beneath her and hear the sound of waves behind her.  _ At least we didn’t sink,  _ she thinks as she begins to assess her injuries. She can already tell she’s weak from her fight and her head keeps throbbing as she opens her eyes. All she can see are the feet of the other passengers as they surround her. Oddly enough, however, they’re facing away from her, as if protecting her from something or someone. 

“You won’t take her to no circle, ser guard. She saved the lot of us and there weren’t nothing in it for her,” says the man she remembers asking her identity. His voice is echoed by the rest of the crowd. 

“‘Cept to save her own skin”, comes a new voice with a heavy Fereldan accent, “now stand aside before I have to take drastic measures.'' She can’t see the man’s face but she can see his heavy boots through the crowd. She can’t tell what kind of interaction happens but her protectors begin to step aside, no doubt intimidated by the guard.  


She looks up to see a handsome but young face looking back at her. Without thinking, she lets her panic take over and before she realizes she's soaring through the sky as a tiny sparrow. Shapeshifting always came easily for her but the speed to which she transforms amazes even her. From beneath her, she can hear shouts of astonishment and even a curse from the guard.

* * *

This time she awakens in the dark and damp of what appears to be a small cave. To her left she can see the rays and sky of a setting sun. She goes to stand but immediately falls back down to the ground, clutching her side, now wet with fresh blood. Amara looks down warily, only to see a new blood stain forming on her tunic but she can feel a makeshift bandage underneath her clothes. _They really did try to help me, _she thinks as she leans her head back against the wall. _And it seems all for naught_.  


She doesn’t know how she’s going to get out of this situation. Based on the accent of the guard, she can only assume that the people she saved were only able to get back to Ferelden. _It’s not like they were experienced sailors. I should have kept at least one pirate alive. _She sighs as she begins to think of how she can defend herself against any possible Darkspawn. _At least the guard should be able to get them back to relative safety_. She had heard rumors of a couple of Grey Wardens still working to fight the Blight and now hoped that they would be successful, if they even existed.   


“It all seems hopeless,” she says out loud, while trying to bring her knees to her chest. The pain in her side, however, keeps that from happening.

“I think I heard something in here! On your guard!”

Amara feels panic again as she looks to see the silhouette of a man in the cave entrance. She can see the outline of heavy armor that she can only assume belongs to a templar. She cowers further into the cave as she sees the man step further in. He has his sword and shield drawn and moves with the skill of a trained warrior.

“Is anyone in here? Come out now or you’ll be forced to leave,” as he comes closer, she can start to make out his features. He’s young, like her, and handsome. She can see blonde hair and a chiseled face.

She tries again to pull her legs to her chest, to make herself smaller, but the pain is too much. Without meaning to, she lets out a small moan. The templar hears it and looks directly at her. She stares into his eyes for only a moment before shapeshifting into a sparrow again.   


Only, there’s no easy escape this time.   


Without any hesitation, the templar calls on his own power and smites Amara. Before she knows it, she’s hitting the ground with a loud grunt. She can feel the stony floor of the cave scrape the side of her face as she slides across the surface but the physical pain is the least of her worries. She can’t feel her magic. For the first time in a long time, she feels completely helpless and terrified. Her chest tightens and she begins to hyperventilate as the panic sets in.  


The templar, however, doesn’t notice. He rushes to her side and immediately puts her in chains. She can feel magebane sinking into her skin as the metal cuffs lock in place. The smell of it makes her nauseous and she holds back her vomit, only barely. The templar doesn’t seem to care or notice.  


“Get up apostate,” he says roughly while glaring at her, pulling on her chains. Amara groans and glares back at him.  


“I can’t stand!” She shouts as she tries to push herself up, only to fall back to the ground in pain.  


“If you can turn into a bird, you can walk. Now stand or I’ll smite you again apostate. You can either leave here awake or unconscious.”  


Amara glares at him again, and says with venom in her voice, “Are all templars so stupid? Can’t you see I’m wounded?”  


The templar goes to smite her again before looking at her side. His scowl softens when he notices the blood stain still forming on her left side. His scowl returns as another thought crosses his mind. He raises his hand to smite her but Amara seems to read his mind.   


“I’m not a blood mage you dolt. I need a healer.” She raises her hand up defensively as she uses her other to push herself up. “Besides, what blood mage have you ever seen that opened their own side?” She snaps as she painfully pushes herself back against the wall.  


Again the templar’s face softens as he appears to consider her words.  


“Fine. I’ll help you stand but by the Maker, if you try anything, I won’t hesitate to strike you down.” He says this as he moves closer and offers her a hand.  


“It’s not like I have a choice,” she says as she grabs his hand and tries to pull herself up. She gasps at the pain and falls back down to the ground. She feels faint and closes her eyes to keep the world from spinning. To her side, she hears footsteps.   


“Knight-Captain, have you found anything?” This time it’s a different voice, belonging to an older man.   


“Yes but she’s injured. Bring my horse to the entrance. I’ll have to carry her out. Now go,” her captor says before looking back at her. Amara hears the footsteps of the other templar fade as he walks away. She looks down at her side and begins to use her hands to put pressure on her wound, even though she feels she has little hope of stopping the bleeding.  


The young templar sighs and pulls up the cloth skirt covering his greaves. Using a dagger from his side, he cuts off a large piece. He hands this to Amara and says, “Here. It’ll help for the time being.”   


Amara cautiously takes the cloth and looks up at the templar. Part of her wants to thank him but she decides against it. She lifts her tunic enough to see her side and begins to wrap the piece of cloth around her stomach, over the other bandage the refugees had made. She gasps as she tightens the cloth, the pain causing her to nearly pass out again.   


“Where are the other passengers? Are they safe?” She asks as she ties the cloth off. “I’d hate to think all this was for nothing,” she says with a bitter chuckle. “Maker’s breath, I don’t even know where I am.”

“The other refugees are fine. I hear there’s a woman in Lowtown who has been helping refugees find food and shelter. As for where you are, you’re on the Wounded Coast outside of Kirkwall. The fact your ship was even able to land here without sinking is nothing short of a miracle.”

“Kirkwall? Then we made it. So much for the rest of my plan of blending in. Unless of course, the kind Knight-Captain could let me go. After all, I did save those people…”

"No."

“There goes that plan,” she says with a slight smirk as she turns her head to the sound of footsteps and hooves approaching. She looks back at the templar, who only shakes his head disapprovingly at her joke. _This one could lighten up. After all, I’m the one who is about to go to prison._ She rolls her eyes and then holds her hand out for the templar to try and help her stand again.  


The templar takes her hand and again pulls on her arm. Amara grits her teeth and tries to stand again. She makes it half-way up before the darkness overcomes her and she falls again to the ground.  



	3. The Gallows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara is introduced to the Gallows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for following my story so far!

She doesn’t remember arriving at the Gallows and only vaguely remembers being searched and stripped of her clothes. She can remember seeing the healer and feeling the relief of having her side healed shut. The amount of templars in the Gallows was intimidating. Everywhere she turned, she found one scowling at her. Or worse, staring at her like a cat stares down a mouse. They had thrown her into a cell without windows or a bed. The only light she can see is from a torch several cells down from her. Her eyes adjust slowly to the darkness and she begins to look around. The stone walls around her are cold and her bed consists of a fur pelt on top of a pile of straw. An old bucket with a foul smell sits in the corner and she sits as far away as she can from it. 

She sits on the ground and pulls her knees to her chest before resting her head on them.  _ I’m really in it now,  _ she thinks as tears start to stream down her face. For most of her life she has been running from templars and escaping successfully. When her magic first appeared, her parents tried to take her to a circle but luckily, shapeshifting had been easy for her even then. She had changed into a dog and ran away from her parents and into the woods outside of Denerim. It wasn’t until she found a group of fellow apostates that she learned her shapeshifiting ability was a rarity. It was the only thing she could do with her magic and she couldn’t explain how. As a little girl, she’d always been fascinated by animals and would watch their movements with the eye of a scholar. She would wish to be a dog and when she found out she could turn into one, she was elated. Her home life was less than ideal, being born to parents who didn’t want her. Her father was a drunk and her mother took out her father’s beatings on her. The last time her mother tried to hit her, she turned into a dog and bit her. It was after that they tried to take her to the Circle. 

It was with the group of apostates that she learned other magic, including her fire spells. The group had been welcoming, kind, and the closest thing to a family she’d ever had. She stayed with them until she was sixteen when a group of templars caught wind of the rogue mages in the woods. They came in the middle of the day and if not for her ability to change into a dog, she would have been captured as well. She could still hear the others telling her to run as the templars raided their camp. 

She was on her own for two years before the Blight hit Ferelden. She was there the night the darkspawn attacked Denerim and she barely made it out alive. It was then she decided to leave for Kirkwall, as she had heard so many others do. Her plan had been to land in Kirkwall discreetly, to hide amongst the other refugees. She wanted to blend in, just as she had in Denerim after her group was abducted.

But now she’s stuck in the last place she ever wanted to be. The tears keep coming as she holds her head on her knees. She still can’t feel her magic and this only causes her to sob more. She feels naked, alone, and helpless without it. Even without the templar presence here, she still wouldn’t be able to escape this place. 

Suddenly, she hears a heavy door open and heavy footsteps coming down the hall. She quickly wipes away the tears on her face, thinking she’ll be damned if any templar sees her cry. The man who stops in front of her cell is the same older templar she saw at the cave. He glares down at her and demands that she stand with her back to him. 

WIthout any real choice, she does as he says. She hears a key unlock her cell door and the loud creak of the heavy iron bars moving causes her to jump. She feels iron clasp around her wrists and can feel the magebane on the cuffs. 

“If it were up to me, I’d’ve left you for dead,” the templar whispers into her ear, “But I can see why the Knight-Captain would want a pretty little thing like you to survive.” As he says this, she can feel his hand run down her back and over her bottom. “But there’ll be time for that later.” His breath on her neck makes her cringe away, which only angers him. He yanks on her chains and pulls her out of her cell.

Even though her side is healed, she’s still weak from the blood loss and overall fatigue of her day. She stumbles backwards and nearly falls. The templar smirks and then forces her to walk in front of him. Amara hates the thought of him behind her yet she has no choice but to obey. The templar leads her out of the cells and into the Gallows courtyard. 

They step out into the night and Amara finally sees the imposing figure that is the Gallows. In the dim torchlight, she can make out bronze statues of weeping slaves on each column of the courtyard. As they approach a grand staircase, she sees more slave statues cowering in fear and submission. As they move up the stairs, she sees two large slave-master statutes whipping smaller slave ones. She shakes her head in disapproval and silently wonders how much these statues reflect what her life will be like in the Gallows. 

As they continue their ascent into the fortress, Amara begins to pass other mages on their way to bed or to nightly duties. Most give her a sympathetic look but some avert their eyes, as if afraid to look at the templar behind her, especially female mages. Noticing this, Amara makes a note to do what she can to stop this templar. But what shocks her the most is the amount of Tranquil mages and that’s when panic begins to seep in again.  _ The Knight-Captain knows I’m a shapeshifter… What if they make me tranquil? No, I would rather die.  _ As they approach their final destination, Amara silently resolves to end her own life before being made Tranquil. 

The templar opens the heavy door in front of Amara and then pushes her inside an imposing office. She looks to the desk and sees a woman who immediately makes her think of ice. This woman is cold and calculating, someone you don’t want to get on the bad side of. Her hair is long, straight, and so light blonde it is almost white. And behind her desk, Amara notices the Knight-Captain. In the candlelight, she can make out his features more. He is young, maybe only a couple of years older than her, with blonde hair and golden eyes. He has an angular face that is pleasing to look at. 

“You may go Ser Ryam,” the woman says in a flat voice. Without hesitation, she looks at Amara and asks, “Your name?”

“Amara Gritton.”

“Have you ever participated in blood magic or any other magic that is not deemed legal by the Chantry?”

Without hesitation Amara answers, “No”, but she can’t help but feel intimidated by the woman in front of her.

“Is this true, Captain Cullen?” The woman looks coolly back at the Knight-Captain and Amara can’t help but feel her heart stop. She looks at the man, her eyes pleading for him not to expose her.

He looks back into her eyes as he replies, “Yes, Commander. When I captured her, she was too weak to summon much more than a small fire spell, which caused me to smite her. Once she was brought here, her body was searched for any scarring of typical blood magic use, but none were found. As far as I can tell, she is only versed in the legal magics.”

Amara lets a flash of astonishment cross her face before clearing it of emotions. The Knight-Commander looks back at her before writing a few notes down. 

“Are you from Kinloch Hold, then? I was not made aware of any transfers being made from there.” The commander stares at Amara with the eyes of a predator. 

“I-- I’m not from a circle. I’m--”

The Knight-Commander abruptly stands and places her hand on the pommel of her sword. “You’re sure she was thoroughly checked, Knight Captain?” She asks Cullen without taking her eyes off Amara. 

The Knight-Captain’s eyes widen at the commander’s reaction, his own hand going to his sword. “Yes, Commander, I even looked myself.” He says as a slight redness forms on his ears. He seems to no longer want to look at Amara.

An eternity seems to pass before the commander speaks, her voice as hard as stone, “I will permit you to live within these walls but a templar will escort you wherever you go. You are not permitted out of the Gallows and any privacy you thought you would receive is gone. Or at least until I deem you trustworthy enough to have the full freedom of the other mages here.”

Amara simply stares and swallows hard as she sees all her freedom disappear in one fell swoop.  _ My life is over… _

“I am Knight-Commander Meredith and as long as you obey and keep your head down, we should have no problems here. In the morning, you shall meet Grand Enchanter Orsino who will explain what steps you will undergo from here. For now, Knight-Captain Cullen will escort you to your quarters. Good evening, Amara.”

Amara nods her head in acquiescence, as Captain Cullen begins to move towards her. He steps behind her and unlocks the chains around her wrists, attaching the manacles to his belt. She notices that the cloth around his waist has been replaced. He gestures to the door and Amara turns away from Commander Meredith and heads for the hallway. Once outside of the office, the two take a left and begin walking down a flight of stairs. They walk for a few moments before Cullen turns toward Amara and steps in front of her, causing her to put her back against the wall. She tenses, not sure if the Knight-Captain is like Ser Ryam. Before he can speak, Amara begins to defend herself. 

“Listen, if you think I’m going to play the naughty apprentice and the morally-lax templar, I won’t hesitate to change into something worse than a sparrow,” she says with venom in her voice, glaring at Cullen. 

“What?” He looks confused and a slight redness comes to his cheeks as he shakes his head, “Maker’s breath. And here I thought I would be threatening you. I-”

“And if you think not turning me in will make me more willing, you’re wrong. I’ve already met your  _ Ser Ryam _ and his morality.”

Cullen straightens to his full height and looks down at Amara, “ I showed you mercy because of what you did for the Fereldans but if I catch you outside of these walls, I will not hesitate to have you made Tranquil. As for Ser Ryam, I will not believe such lecherous lies about a fellow Templar. Now keep moving before I take you back to Commander Meredith and tell her the truth.”

Amara stares defiantly at him for a moment before lowering her head.  _ There’s nothing I can do _ , she thinks as she turns to begin walking again. Cullen takes a step ahead of her and continues to lead her down several more staircases before they reach her quarters. 

“This will be your quarters. You’ll be expected to stay here until the morning when someone will escort you to Grand Enchanter Orsino. Ser Ryam will be your escort for the time being. Good night, mage.”

He opens her door and gestures for her to step inside. As she does, she hears the door shut behind her and a lock slide into place. She sighs and finally lets some of the tension out of her shoulders. 

Her room is small, with a single bed in front of her. To her right is a desk with a lit candle on it, as well as some parchment, ink, and a quill. There are no windows in her tiny cell, which only further dampens her spirits.  _ At least I’m alone.  _ The thought of having to face another mage or anyone else is too much. She lays down on her bed and closes her eyes, hoping she can will her magic back. She concentrates as hard as she can but to no avail. After the Knight-Captain’s smite and copious amounts of magebane, she knows it will be hours or even a day before she can feel her magic again. 

“But it doesn’t even matter,” she says out loud as tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She turns on her side and silently sobs herself to sleep. 

* * *

The following morning, Amara is awake and ready when Ser Ryam arrives at her door. She has already cleaned her face with the water basin she missed last night and pulled her hair back in its usual ponytail. She’ll be damned if Ser Ryam ever sees her in a weakened state again. Her magic has finally returned to her and she feels much stronger for it.  _ I’ll make it out today and head for the mountains.  _ She has to fight back a smirk as she hears her door unlocking. The door opens and in walks Ser Ryam.

“Good morning, love. Be a good little mage and maybe I’ll give you a treat.” He winks at her as he motions for her to stand. It makes Amara’s skin crawl but she simply smiles and heads out the door. 

“It’s off to Orsino for you girl. Follow me.”

As they make their way through the Gallows, Amara is once again appalled at what she sees. The slave statues are even more depressing in the morning light, but what’s worse is the expressions of her fellow mages. The few she saw the night before were only a sampling of the overall morale of her peers. Most mages look frightened and avoid the templars in any way they can.  _ This place is a prison,  _ she thinks as she follows Ser Ryam up a flight of stairs. 

Soon they arrive at an open door, leading into a large office. Behind a large desk is an elf in dark blue robes. Behind his back, he carries a staff that ends in a three-headed dragon. His hair is black and he’s no longer a young man. He smiles politely at Amara as she steps into his office and begins to speak.

“You must be Amara. I was told to expect you this morning. I am Grand Enchanter Orsino and I am supposed to explain to you what happens from here.” He comes around his desk and stands in front of Amara, reaching his hand out to her. “Please, let me see your palm.” 

Amara gives him a questioning look but does as he says. She can feel Ser Ryam’s eyes on the back of her head, causing her to refuse to disobey. Orsino grabs her wrist in a tight hold and pulls a small knife from within his robes. “I’m quite sorry about this,” he says as he makes a small incision into her palm. 

Amara gasps and tries to pull her hand back, only making the cut deeper. “What the hell are you doing?” She half yells this, as Orsino pulls a small vial from the same pocket of his robes and collects some of her blood. While holding the vial, he closes his eyes and summons a small healing spell over her hand, causing the wound to quickly heal. He then stoppers the vial and whispers some words over it before handing it to Ser Ryam. 

“Have you ever heard of a phylactery, Amara?” He asks, as he watches Ser Ryam step out of the office and head off to where the small vials are stored. 

Amara gingerly rubs her hand and looks at Orsino with daggers in her eyes. “No but I assume it has something to do with whatever you just did to me.”

“Yes, well it is a small vial of your essence that is used to track you down, should you ever escape. The templars use them as a tracking device and they’re stored in a location that is not even disclosed to me.” He shakes his head for a moment and looks out the door again, as if to make sure Ser Ryam is gone. He then looks back at Amara, concern on his face, “I don’t know why they’ve set that monster on you as an escort but be careful with him. There have been… issues with that one. Now, as you may have noticed, things here aren’t what anyone could call ideal. As long as you stay low, you should be fine. Life in the Circle can be challenging but it’s better than death or even being made Tranquil. Just listen to the templars and-”

He stops as Ser Ryam returns to the office. Without missing a beat, he continues, “And after some initial testing, your Harrowing will be performed at anytime. We like to surprise our apprentices with it, keeps them on their toes, so to speak. Ser Ryam will take you to the testing grounds momentarily. For now, I would like to know a little more about you and where you’re from. I’ve been told you’re Fereldan and that you’ve never lived in a circle but I would like to know more.”

Amara is stunned by Orsino’s change of pace. To go from slicing her hand, to warning her, to welcoming her like a long lost friend is confusing. And the phylactery... It almost makes her want to start crying again.  _ I was so close... _ She hesitates a moment before speaking, still slightly alarmed by all that has happened. 

“I began to show magical talent when I was a little girl but I ran away from my parents before they could take me to a circle. I was in Denerim, so I ran to hide in the woods. That’s when I ran into a group of other runaway mages and they helped raise me. When I was sixteen, templars found us but I managed to escape. I went back to Denerim and survived by hiding my magic but when the Blight came, I decided to come to Kirkwall to escape. The ship I hired was actually crewed by pirates pretending to help. I killed them to save myself and the other refugees but was injured in the process. I don’t remember much from yesterday but I remember the Knight-Captain bringing me here.” 

“Lucky for those refugees that you were there,” Orsino says, with just a hint of pity in his voice. He looks Amara in the eye as he says, “Well you will be safe here, my dear.” But Amara knows her safety is only conditional.  _ As long as I’m a good, little mage.  _ “It has been a pleasure to meet you Amara. Ser Ryam will now take you to the testing grounds where we can see how much you learned from your fellow mages. Based on what you’ve told me, you should pass anything we throw at you.” He says this with a reassuring smile that doesn’t help Amara’s mood at all. She simply nods her thanks and then turns to follow Ser Ryam out the door. 


	4. And a Scar is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara shows what she can do.

The testing grounds is more of a library than a training ground. Amara is a bit shocked by the amount of apprentices studying or practicing simple spells. They range in age from six to their 50s.  _ The older ones must be like me,  _ she thinks as she’s handed a staff by a middle-aged Elven woman. Her dark hair has hints of gray and is pulled back into a tight bun. Crow’s feet are beginning to form at her eyes and she looks like someone who is used to being in command. 

“I am Lyna and I’ll be your trainer until your Harrowing. Take this staff and go over to where the others are practicing their spells. I want to see you summon a fireball.” The woman points to a corner of the room where targets have been painted onto the wall. Two other young mages are trying to summon fireballs as well but are not able to make them strong enough to reach the targets. 

Amara nods and walks over to the practicing mages. She takes a balanced stance and twirls the staff around her with relative ease. Unlike most mages, Amara is accustomed to carrying a sword or dual daggers. From an early age, she has refused to carry a staff, feeling that it made her an easy target for templars. Why most mages didn’t do the same, always baffled her. The apostates in her group had taught her the basics of staff wielding anyways. 

Focusing back to the task at hand, Amara easily summons a fireball and channels it through the staff. The ball of fire flies from the staff and hits the target dead center. 

“Again,” Lyna says as she paces behind Amara and the other mages. 

Amara does the same again. 

“Can you make a cone of cold?” Lyna asks. 

Again, Amara drops into her fighting stance and swings her staff in front of her. As the staff moves, a wall of ice forms in front of her. 

“What about lightning?” Lyna asks, beginning to look impressed. 

Amara reaches her staff into the sky and then calls forth a bolt of lightning, seemingly out of nowhere, to strike the center of the target. A small piece of stone falls to the ground as a blackened wall is left behind from the strike. 

“Impressive. You two could learn something from this one.” Lyna smiles at Amara, “I don’t think your Harrowing is far ahead of you. With skill like that, you’re ready to become a mage and move on to the higher magics.”

Amara smirks, feeling a bit like herself again, “Give me a sword and I can really show what I know. I hate staves.”

Lyna looks at Amara for a moment and then nods her head. “Alright. It’s not really my area of expertise but maybe some of our templars will oblige?” She turns her head and looks at Ser Ryam and then the other templars standing guard. None of them make a sound until Ser Ryam begins to move forward. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. Someone fetch me some practice swords and we’ll see what she can do.” Amara watches as a young templar walks off to find the swords. 

* * *

It’s soon known throughout the Gallows that the training grounds is the place to be. A small crowd has formed to watch the new mage defeat every templar recruit who faces her. But she doesn’t do it with magic, at least not much. Other than her flaming sword, the woman uses skill with a blade to defeat her opponents. And the mages love it. 

It began when the young recruit returned with the swords. He had been the first to fall to Amara’s blade. Recruit after recruit tested her and failed, until the point Ser Ryam gave it a try. Her and Ser Ryam have been going at it for the last thirty minutes. Every time she thinks she has him, he counters her. Even though she hates Ser Ryam, the exercise is good for her mind and body. She even begins to enjoy the bout, wanting more and more to throttle the nasty man.

But like most good things, it had to come to an end when word reached Knight-Captain Cullen. Afraid Amara may be pushed into shapeshifiting, whether for her own safety or for her to show-off, Cullen rushes to the testing grounds to put an end to the fighting. 

“This ends now!” He yells as he comes down the stairs to the grounds. “This is absolutely ridiculous. There are better ways for everyone to spend their time.” The crowd splits before him as he approaches Amara and Ser Ryam. When he sees her, he scowls, “I should have known it would be you.”

Amara begins to speak to defend herself when Ser Ryam speaks up, “Why not have a go at her Knight-Captain? She’s bested almost all of us but let’s see what she can do against you.” His voice is met with cheers from the crowd. “You should try it, Knight-Captain!” Someone anonymous says in the crowd.

Cullen looks slightly stunned and looks at Amara, who gives him a cocksure smile. Something about her smile must infuriate him as he moves to challenge her. He draws his sword and begins to take a defensive stance in front of her. 

Amara’s smile widens as she drops into an offensive stance and begins to take the first swing. Cullen easily blocks it but that’s only part of her plan. Quick as lightning, her sword is back in the air, swinging at his opposite side. A look of shock crosses his face while he blocks her second move with his shield. They continue fighting for a few minutes until Cullen sees a weakness in her stance. He takes the opportunity and soon Amara is on her back with a bloody lip. 

The templars cheer while the mages groan. Cullen looks at Amara with a smirk as she gets up and then turns to the crowd. “Everyone, as you were. We’ve better things to do then fight each other.” As the crowd begins to disperse, Cullen looks back at Amara and says, “You, come with me. Ser Ryam, you’re dismissed from escorting Amara for the day.” Cullen begins to walk away, with Amara close at his heels. 

She follows quietly, wondering how much trouble she’s in. She holds her hand over lip, using a healing spell to stop the bleeding. Having never been much of a healer, her bout with Cullen will most likely leave a scar.  _ I hate that smug smirk of his _ , she thinks as they walk up the stairs, followed by several other templars and mages. She continues to follow Cullen until they are alone in front of her room. Cullen turns quickly and backs her against the wall. 

“You’re doing a terrible job of lying low,” he practically hisses. “What if you had turned into a bird again? It seems to be your trick when you’re in danger.”

Amara smirks at him, “I can control it, you realize that right? I’m not a werewolf. As for danger, if that’s the best you have to offer, then I felt perfectly safe. Furthermore, I didn’t start the whole thing. You can thank Ser Ryam for egging people on!”

“Again, accusing Ser Ryam of your own actions. You need to learn your place. You are to stay in your room until I give the command that you are free. Now go, mage, and I’ll lock the door behind you.” He turns and points for her to go. Amara scowls at him but does as she’s told, knowing she can’t escape him. She sits on the bed as she hears the door slam behind her and the lock slide closed.


	5. Demons, Templars, and Other Unpleasant Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara officially joins the Circle.

Three days pass before Amara speaks to another person. She’s not even sure if it’s been three days; she can only guess by the number of meals brought to her. She has been left alone with her thoughts and her failures. 

For the past three days, she’s had nothing to do but dwell on her imprisonment and every event in her life that has led to it. From discovering her shapeshifting abilities, to losing her adopted family, to even killing the pirates on the ship to Kirkwall, she has thought through all of it. Amara is almost certain that she has never cried her entire life as much as she has in the last three days. But the memory that sticks out the most to her is that of Solona, the mage who took her in when she had nowhere to go. The woman who brought a young girl into her little band of misfits. 

Solona had been a tall, slender woman with dark hair and dark brown eyes. She had been walking through the woods, looking for herbs when she saw a small dog turn into a smaller girl. The little girl began to sob and look around desperately, as if lost. Solona went to comfort her and from there on gained an adopted daughter. She taught Amara everything she knew and was the one to tell Amara to run when the templars attacked their camp. Leaving behind Solona was and still is one of Amara’s deepest regrets. 

_ If I had stayed, maybe we could have handled the templars and escaped.  _ It was a scenario she often played out in her head but deep down she always knew that the templars were too many and her family too few. Still, with nothing else to do, Amara found herself falling deeper and deeper into depression. She wanted nothing more than to have her old life back; to be in Ferelden with her friends, back in the woods where everything had felt safe. If truth be told, she hasn’t truly felt safe since that fateful day. 

After the others had been taken away, Amara had gone to live in the streets of Denerim. It was there she learned to use a sword. Not wanting to use her magic, she’d been left to defend herself in anyway she could. Those two years in Denerim had proven rough and lonely but it had done much to shape her stubborn personality and her will to survive. 

_ But none of that matters now _ , she silently thinks to herself. She has ended up in a place she has worked so hard to avoid and she can’t escape. She buries her head in her pillow, as tears fall down her face. Her brown hair cascades over her head as she lies on her stomach. She lets herself fall deeper into despair. 

She uses her arms to push herself up as she hears the lock on her door slide. Quickly, she wipes away any tears and sits up. She begins to pull her hair back into a ponytail as the door opens wide. Standing there is none other than Ser Ryam, who is still an unwelcome sight even after three days of solitude. 

“Get up, girl. It’s time for your Harrowing.”

* * *

When she opens her eyes, she’s back in the forest outside of Denerim. She can see her old camp but everything looks slightly off, as if looking through green-tinted glass.  _ I’m in the Fade _ . She had only half-believed the ritual of the Harrowing would work. Even as she drank the lyrium that would boost her powers, she expected nothing to happen. She thought the Harrowing was more ceremonial than an actual test of a mage’s willpower. Of course, the templar presence should have told her otherwise, especially the presence of the Knight-Captain. 

_ I may as well get this over with,  _ she thinks as she begins to walk around the camp. As she walks, she begins to see old details she’d forgotten over the years. The lute Cassie used to play or the smell of rabbit cooking over an open fire. The sound of the wind blowing against their tents is enough to make her pine again for her old days.  _ Careful, there could be demons about. _

“You’ve grown into a beautiful, young woman,” a voice from behind her startles Amara as she turns and sees Solona standing before her. “So strong and independent now. I always thought you’d be the last of us to survive.”

Amara stands silently, refusing to respond to the demon. “Not so easily fooled, I see. Not like the others. But what if I told you I can help you win your freedom?”

“I won’t become an abomination. I’m not that desper-”

“You aren’t yet. But I know things you do not. For instance, I know where the real Solona is.” The false Solona smiles but there’s no comfort in it. Amara’s skin shivers as she looks at that smile and senses the evil behind it. “I can lead you to her. All you have to do is let me in.”

Amara jumps as the camp dissolves and another setting appears. She finds herself in a small room, much like her own in the Gallows. Sitting on the bed is another Solona, only this one doesn’t emanate the evil of the last. She looks older and her brown hair now has streaks of gray. Lines now crease her skin and she seems thicker with age. Amara hesitates for a moment and then speaks, “Solona?”

The image looks at Amara with a blank expression. On her forehead is the mark of the Tranquil. “Hello Amara. I haven’t seen you in a long while. Are you a part of the circle now?” Solona speaks in a monotone, devoid of emotion.

Tears begin to well in Amara’s eyes as she stares in disbelief. “What have they done to you?” She shouts as she runs and kneels at Solona’s feet. She can’t believe her eyes. Solona had been so full of life and laughter. Her voice had been soft when comforting young Amara or hard as stone when defending their family. 

“I have been made Tranquil. I was too much of a danger to myself and to the others in the circle. I am better this way.” Solona speaks in the same tones, never looking down at Amara who is crying at her knees. 

“No you’re not! They are monsters! You would never hurt anyone, much less give into a demon!”

“My attachment to you made me attempt to escape. This made me a danger to everyone around me.”

The demonic Solona reappears behind Amara and whispers sinisterly, “If it weren’t for you, she’d be fine.” Just as quickly as it appeared, the demon is gone and the room is gone. 

_ My fault. It’s all my fault! I never should have run!  _ Amara stands and begins looking around at the nothingness, confused as to what to do next. She begins to run, panic setting in as she doesn’t know what to do. She hears a hiss behind her and turns to see a desire demon looking back at her. 

“I can help you save her. Together we can break out of the Gallows and go to Solona. You don’t need to be alone anymore.” The smile that crosses the demon’s face makes Amara shiver. She stares the demon down but doesn’t reply. “Good, think on it mage. Together we can save your mother.”

Amara has never felt such a conflict in her life. She knows that demon lies but if even part of what she’s seen is true, Solona needs to be saved. What if she is tranquil? And what if it is Amara’s fault? She bites her lip as she debates in her mind what to do. 

But suddenly, a memory from her youth comes into her head.

_ Demons will always try to tempt you but you must always deny them, a young Solona explains to an even younger Amara.  _

_ By giving into their temptation, you become exactly what everyone expects a mage to become eventually-- an abomination. But that’s not true and never let anyone tell you otherwise. You have the power to control your own fate and you are strong Amara.  _

_ You are strong, Amara _ , she hears again.  _ I can do this _ . Amara straightens her back and stares the demon in the eyes. “You will not have me.” She draws the sword at her belt and lights it on fire. “Let’s end this.”

* * *

She’s jolted awake as she kills the demon in the Fade. Her eyes open and she finds herself kneeling in front of Grand Enchanter Orsino. She blinks tears from her eyes as she recalls her ordeal but quickly wipes them away. 

“You’ve succeeded. You are now a full-fledge mage of the Gallows. Congratulations Amara”, Orsino says as he smiles down at her. He offers her his hand and Amara takes it as she stands. 

Still reeling from her battle with the demon, Amara simply nods and softly says, “Thank you”.  _ I think… _ “I’d like to return to my room now.”

“Of course, my dear. The Harrowing can be very trying,” Orsino says cheerfully. “I understand completely if you wish to rest.”

Ser Ryam begins to step forward to lead Amara out but the Knight-Captain steps forward. “I’ll handle things from here Ser Ryam. Go on about your normal duties.” Cullen heads out of the Harrowing chamber. Amara quietly follows, still reeling from her experience.  _ What if the demon showed me the truth _ ? The thought of Solona being Tranquil is almost too much to bear. 

The Knight-Captain begins to speak as they enter the hallway to Amara’s room, “I’ve begun an investigation into Ser Ryam. Not many mages are willing to talk but based on their overall demeanor, I suspect you may be right. I will assign a new templar to you in the meantime.”

Amara simply nods her head in agreement. There is an awkward silence between them as they stop in front of her room. “I also want to apologize for my reaction to your spar with Ser Ryam,” he continues, ”I may have overreacted.” He looks at her, waiting for her response. He even offers an apologetic smile.

“Am I supposed to thank and forgive you for being a half-way decent person?” She shakes her head angrily. “I just witnessed the woman I consider my mother turned tranquil and I don’t know if it was a demon’s lies or the truth. Putting mages through that is cruel and there has to be a better way than sending them right down the dragon’s gullet. But what would the perfect Knight-Captain know about demons and torture.”

Cullen begins to speak, losing his temper, but he stops himself, knowing he deserves some of her anger. “More than you think,” he says between gritted teeth. “I’ll send the new templar to you shortly. Good day.” He turns on his heel and disappears quickly down the hall. 

“Good riddance,” Amara says to herself as she steps into her room and shuts the door.

* * *

A tentative knock comes through her door as Amara lies in her bed. She sighs heavily as she sits up, not wanting to deal with anyone else today. She’s still overcome with a lingering sadness from her Harrowing and a certain amount of embarrassment towards her behavior with Cullen. While she was far from befriending the good Knight-Captain, she should have been more appreciative of his investigation into Ser Ryam. After all, in her current state, she may be powerless to stop him herself. It was good to know that the Knight-Captain could listen, no matter how thick-headed he seemed. 

As her door opens, she sees two figures outside it, Cullen and a younger man, probably around the same age as her. 

“Hello again Amara,” the Knight-Captain says with even more coldness than before, “This is Ser Keran and he’ll be your escort from now until Knight-Commander Meredith deems you trustworthy. The day is yours to do with as you will but tomorrow your classes begin. Simply let Ser Keran know where you want to go within the Gallows and he will lead the way.” 

He turns to leave but Amara stops him. “Wait, Knight-Captain Cullen! I’d like to speak with you.” She glances at Ser Keran, “Privately.”

Cullen hesitates for a moment but decides to not grant her wish, “Whatever you say to me, can be said in front of Ser Keran. There will be no secrets kept from him. Now speak.” He looks at her with a scowl, his honey-colored eyes darkening with unresolved anger. 

Amara begins to glare at Cullen but softens her features at the thought,  _ I deserve this. _ “I wanted to apologize for earlier. I was hurting and I took it out on you. I also wanted to thank you for--” She stops herself, not sure if Keran is aware or should know about the investigation.  _ He did say ‘no secrets’... “ _ For the investigation into Ser Ryam.”

Cullen looks genuinely shocked for a split second before regaining his composure. The look is enough to make Amara smile slightly as he says, “I will do my best towards Ser Ryam. I have other duties to attend to. Good day to both of you.” He then takes his leave and Amara is left alone with Ser Keran. 

He can’t be more than eighteen-years old, the same age as Amara. He has blonde hair like the Knight-Captain but it is long and straight, compared to Cullen’s curly mane. His eyes are a deep blue and would be piercing if they weren’t staring at the ground. 

“I’m fine just spending the rest of the day in my room, Ser Keran.” He almost looks relieved as he nods his head and begins to shut her door. 

“I’ll be out here if you wish to go anywhere,” he says awkwardly before shutting the door and locking it. 

_ What a strange man,  _ Amara thinks as she settles back on her bed. She closes her eyes and quickly falls asleep, mentally exhausted from the days’ events.


	6. An Investigation Begins

The following weeks are long and arduous. Her classes are both challenging and boring, depending on the subject. While magic that includes the elements comes fairly easy to her, healing is something she’s never been great at. She still bears the scar on her lip from her bout with Cullen because of her lack of healing skills. She doesn’t mind it though. If anything, she thinks it makes her look like a warrior. _ At least, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself, _she thinks as she absent-mindedly runs her finger down her scar. 

She is in the library, trying to read a tome on basic healing techniques. Ser Keran is somewhere behind her, probably perusing the aisles while keeping an eye on her. The room is filled with hundreds, if not thousands, of tomes, books, scrolls, and every other form of literature one can imagine. There are shelves upon shelves in the two-storey room and she is on the first level, where most apprentice level works are held. She sits at her table and stares blankly at the words in front of her. She is always grateful Solona taught her how to read, even though she often finds the task tedious. She would prefer to be out learning things by ear, rather than studying someone else’s words on the matter. She sighs and rests her head on her hands, resigned to her boredom.

Her head snaps up when she overhears the familiar sound of the Knight-Captain’s voice. At this point, even the taciturn captain is a welcome distraction from her studies. She scans the library, looking for the direction of his voice when she spots him talking to another mage a couple aisles down from her table. Glancing over her shoulder to see Ser Keran is out of sight, she quietly focuses her attention unto Cullen and the mage, without them noticing.

“I simply need to know if Ser Ryam was ever-- uh… If Ser Ryam was ever uncouth with you,” the Knight-Captain says awkwardly, while rubbing the back of his neck. “Did he ever try anything, um-- improper? Maker’s Breath…” He says the last part under his breath as he stares, not unkindly, at the mage in front of him. Amara can see the redness of his ears from her seat and she quietly stifles a chuckle, even though the matter is serious.

The female mage shifts her feet as she looks down to the ground. Her face is red too and she seems completely uncomfortable. 

“Ser Ryam has never been improper with me, ser. He’s always been a gentleman and has treated me as a templar should. I-- I need to go to class, ser. Please, excuse me.” Before Cullen can even respond, the mage walks past him and heads towards Amara’s table. Amara gives her a sympathetic look as she passes, but the mage keeps moving, wanting to escape her embarrassment. 

Amara then makes eye contact with Cullen and shakes her head in disappointment. He looks embarrassed and quickly turns to leave but she stops him, “Is that what you call an investigation?”

He stops in his tracks and turns to face her, as she stands and moves towards him. “I did my best but the subject is… difficult. I--,” he wants to retort to her sarcasm but sighs when he comes up with nothing. “I am trying my best.”

Amara smirks slightly, proud of her little triumph, “Well your best isn’t working. You need a woman to help you.”

"Well I had wanted to keep this as closed as possible but maybe you’re right. Perhaps one of the female recruits would be willi-”

“You need a woman who’s not a templar. Don’t you think it’s hard enough for a woman to admit to something like this? Especially when the person asking can also punish her or even make her Tranquil?”

Cullen looks astonished and asks, “Where can I find a mage who will hel-”

“In short, you need me’” Amara says with a wry smile. Cullen begins to shake his head but Amara interrupts him, “Think about it. I’m new to the Circle but everyone is learning I don’t have a particular fondness for you templars. I’m assuming I’m around the same age as Ryam’s victims and I’ve also been on the receiving end of his... ‘advances.’ I can help women feel more comfortable because I’m coming from a similar position to them.” She pauses for a second and then says earnestly, “Please let me help. I’m the one who brought it to your attention in the first place.”

Cullen hesitates for a moment and looks into Amara’s eyes. She’s not sure what he finds but it’s enough for him to slowly nod his head. “Fine, you can help but this stays between us.” He glances behind her at Ser Keran staring at them, “And Keran. We’ll start tomorrow morning after your first classes.”

Amara smiles widely, “That sounds perfect.” _ We’re going to nail this bastard to the wall, _she thinks as Cullen walks away. She turns around and nods to Ser Keran before returning to her table and to her studies.


	7. Passing Notes

“I’m starting to think this isn’t going to work,” Cullen says as he looks at the list of mages they’ve gathered. “No one has anything of note about Ryam.”

“I still think it’s because you won’t let me talk to them alone. I don’t understand why Ser Keran has to be there. No offense to you,” she adds to Keran with a smirk. “Who wants to say something bad about templars with one in the room?”

He pauses a moment before speaking, “That was an oversight on my part. Stil, we need more testimonies to make this work. The word of one mage won’t be enough.”

“And why is that,” Amara snaps with venom in her voice. She hates being reminded of how little power she has here but she sighs, knowing she is being unfair to the Knight-Captain. “I’m sorry. This whole thing has me not sleeping well, on top of all the new classes. I could be part of the problem too. I can be a bit competitive in class…”

“You are pretty intimidating in your elements class. Most of the others have a hard time keeping up with you,” Ser Keran chimes in. “I’ve seen a few give you sideways glances when you’re not looking.”

“I find it hard to imagine Amara being a bit of a show-off,” Cullen says sarcastically with a smirk. 

Amara laughs and looks at Keran before settling on Cullen. _ He really is handsome when he smirks… _ “So the stern captain can make a joke. I’m impressed.” She smiles genuinely at him, causing him to redden about the ears some.

Cullen rubs the back of his neck before saying, “Regardless, we need to find something within the next week or I’m going to have to close the case. It’s getting late and we both need to be up early. Let’s retire for the night and we’ll reconvene tomorrow. Good night Ser Keran and good night Amara.” He nods to them and then turns to leave the room.

“Good night Captain,” Ser Keran says as he begins to pull Amara’s chair out for her. Amara smiles again at Cullen and says, “Good night Captain Cullen.” She keeps smiling as she thinks of how she made his ears redden. _ He’s so awkward… _She thinks as she stands and tells Keran thank you. 

Together the templar and mage begin walking out into the dark courtyard of the Gallows. Everything seems darker than usual because some of the torches have been put out. Amara eyes this warily and looks around suspiciously, wondering if Keran is doing the same. She gives an internal sigh of relief when she notices his hand on the pommel of his sword. As they walk, another mage approaches with their hood up. In the darkness, Amara can’t make out their face as they carelessly, or purposefully, walk into her. The mage quickly mumbles an apology before hurrying off in the opposite direction of Amara and Keran. Amara begins to make a remark but the mage is gone before she can. In her hand, she can feel a small note. She quickly stuffs the note in her pocket while Keran is watching the mage disappear.

“That was weird, huh?” She says to try and lighten the mood. “I swear, some of the mages here really need to learn proper social etiquette.” She laughs slightly and Keran chuckles under his breath before moving on. “I think you’re right,” he says as he walks beside her. 

Once they make it to Amara’s room, she says good night to Keran before closing her door. In her anticipation, she almost rips the note as she opens it to read:

“If proof is what you seek,

To these three you must speak,

The one who steals,

The one who seals,

And the one who kneels.”

_ Why does it have to rhyme? _ Is her first thought as she reads the note over again, wondering what it means. Her head snaps up as meaning dawns on her, “Ser Ryam!” She says out loud as she goes to open her door. “Keran!”

Keran stops in his tracks, having only made it partially down the hallway. He turns and begins walking back to her, “The captain said you were supposed to go to sleep. I’m tired Amar-” he stops when he sees the note in her hand. “What’s that?”

“That mage put it in my pocket when they bumped into me,” she fibs, feeling a little guilty for lying. “I think it’s about Ser Ryam. Here look.” She hands Keran the note, who takes it curiously. 

“I think you’re right again.” He says as he hands it back to her. “We’ll show the captain in the morning.” He begins to turn around but Amara stops him by grabbing his shoulder.

“No, I think we should take it now. Maybe we’ll run into that mage again. Besides, I think he would want to know sooner rather than later.”

“I don’t know Amara… It’s getting pretty late and I don’t want to anger him…”

“C’mon and grow a pair Keran! This is what separates the recruits from the templars. You’ll never get anywhere if you’re too afraid to take a chance.” Amara has no idea if she’s right but she hopes Keran will buy it. She wants to smile as she sees him pondering her words. 

Keran sighs, “Alright but if I get in trouble, you’re staying in your room for the whole day. I’ll probably be put on chamber pot duty anyways…” He turns as Amara smiles and begins to follow him to the Captain’s quarters.

The return through the courtyard is non-eventful, however, both notice that the torches are all lit like normal. As they make their way into Templar Hall, Amara begins to regret her decision. Although not many are out at this hour, the few templars who are, eye her suspiciously. She hates the way most templars here look at her like she’s a criminal, even though she’s done nothing wrong. She does wonder if any of them know about her help with the investigation. That would definitely cause animosity towards her. The new, rogue mage trying to bring down one of their oldest members. She shakes her head and instead stares at Keran’s back, deciding to ignore the looks being thrown at her. 

They finally stop in front of a door and Keran knocks lightly on it. Amara stands in front as the door opens and a shirtless Cullen opens the door. _ Damn… _she thinks as she sees the muscles on his torso, scars included. Her heart skips a beat as Cullen quickly shuts the door and reopens it with tunic on. 

“Uh, what do you want Amara?” Cullen says awkwardly, while holding open his door. His ears are red again but Amara can feel the flush in her own cheeks as well. 

“Here. This was given to me by an anonymous mage. I don’t know who they were and neither does Keran but I think it has something to do with Ser--,” She hesitates, unsure if anyone around can hear her, “--with your investigation.” She hands Cullen the note and watches as he reads it. His brow furrows, as if debating whether or not to tell Amara something. 

He decides to tell her as he looks up and says, “I know who the first one is but you’re not going to like it.” Amara raises an eyebrow but Cullen continues before she can speak, “She was made Tranquil last week for stealing. Her name is Anaise and she works selling goods in the market on certain days.”

“She was made _ Tranquil _ for _ stealing _?” Amara says more loudly than she intends, causing Cullen to raise his hand to his lips. 

“It wasn’t my decision but the Knight-Commander’s. I don’t think she can help us now. I’m sorry Amara.” He apologizes with a sincerity that makes Amara’s anger waver slightly. _ It’s not his fault, _she says to herself, knowing she shouldn’t be angry at him. 

In a softer tone that barely covers the anger underneath, she says, “We have to at least try. Please.”

Cullen hesitates for a moment, looking into her eyes. It seems he’s struggling with telling her no. Finally he speaks, “We’ll try tomorrow afternoon. She should be in the library cataloging books. But Amara, I don’t think this will work.”

“But we still have to try,” she says before turning to leave, “Good night Cullen.”

Cullen turns to look at Keran but the young man is already following Amara, hoping that he’s not in trouble with the captain for bringing her here. Cullen shakes his head and mutters, “Maker’s breath…” before closing his door and heading to bed.

Amara and Keran return to her quarters and after saying their good nights, Amara lays on her bed, reading the note over and over until she eventually falls asleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted two chapters this week and will start posting on Mondays or Tuesdays. I have to start giving myself more time to write, lol. Thanks so much to everyone who has read the story so far! All the hits, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions are greatly appreciated! I hope you keep liking my story! :D


	8. The One Who Steals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara meets the first woman from the note.

Her heart is pounding as she sits in the library, waiting for Cullen to arrive. She hasn’t stopped thinking about the mysterious note or the mysterious mage since last night. She can’t seem to wrap her mind around all the need for secrecy.  _ If they know we’re investigating, why are they scared?  _ She could understand the fear if the investigation was being held solely by templars. After all, it would be naive to think the trial would be unbiased. But she was involved, a fellow mage and a former apostate at that.  _ There’s something more going on here, something dangerous.  _ Why else the need for dark alleys and surreptitious notes?

She’s so deep in thought that she doesn’t notice when Cullen approaches her and she jumps slightly as he asks, “Are you ready to go?”

“Huh?” She says as she regains her composure, “Of course. I was just daydreaming.” She wonders if Cullen suspects the same as her but she doesn’t ask. Even though he’s been helpful and even friendly, she still doesn’t know how much she can trust him. Although, his surprise at the note means he’s probably not involved in anything nefarious.  _ Or he’s the world’s greatest actor,  _ she thinks before remembering how quickly he reddens at the slightest provocations.  _ Or not… _ She smiles slightly to herself as she stands and follows Cullen, with Keran close behind. 

Cullen leads them to a secluded part of the library on the second level. There they find a petite, young red-headed woman who moves with a light-footed grace. She looks to be in her mid-20s and would be considered attractive except for the Tranquil brand on her forehead. Amara shudders,  _ A fate worse than death.  _ She has never spoken to someone who is Tranquil before and she’s quietly dreading the experience. The closest she’s ever encountered a Tranquil is from her Harrowing and she doesn’t want to relive the experience. Seeing Solona alive but lifeless was too much and it is something that still haunts her, even though she knows the demon probably lied. Since her experience, she’s made a point to avoid any of the Tranquil in the Gallows, which has been somewhat difficult, considering the number of them. 

_ I have to do this. Solona would want me to do this.  _ She looks at Cullen who urges her forward. She clears her throat before speaking, smiling as Anaise stops filing scrolls away. 

“Hello, Anaise. My name is Amara and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.” Amara looks at her hopefully, not sure if a Tranquil mage is affected by someone’s appearance. 

“Of course Amara, you may ask me anything,” Anaise says in a dry, monotone. The sound of it brings Solona to mind and Amara hesitates before speaking again. 

“I’d like to talk to you about a templar named Ser Ryam. Do you ever speak to him?”

“I see Ser Ryam almost every day.”

Amara raises her eyebrows and looks at Cullen who has a similar look.  _ Oh no _ , she thinks before continuing her questioning. 

“And what do you and Ser Ryam do?” She asks the question but doesn’t want to really know the answer. 

“He watches me as I complete my daily tasks and guides me to my chambers before I go to bed.”

Amara waits for her to continue but Anaise simply stares at her. “And?”

“That is all Amara. Ser Ryam simply makes sure I stay on task because of my past discretions. I no longer have the desire to steal but he is a very thorough Templar. If you are done, I still have many tasks to complete before my day is done.” Anaise says this so politely and matter-of-factly that Amara is stunned speechless.  _ There has to be more,  _ she thinks as she searches for her next question. She can feel her heart sinking as she begins to wonder if their investigation ends here. 

“Perhaps it’s time we left Amara”, Cullen says softly as he gently grabs her elbow. He wears a look of disappointment on his face as well as he gently pulls her away. 

_ The note.  _ She thinks as she frantically begins searching her pockets for it. She tugs her elbow away from Cullen as she steps forward to Anaise. “This note, it’s important. Do you think you can solve the riddle?”

Anaise takes the note and studies it for a moment before speaking again. “I believe the one who seals is Lana. She helps send out any letters or correspondence by placing the wax seals on them before sending them out. She stays mostly in Templar’s Hall near Knight-Commander Meredith and Grand Enchanter Orsino’s offices.”

Amara is elated as she takes the note back from Anaise, “Thank you so much Anaise. You have no idea how important this is. Thank you again.” 

She smiles widely at Anaise who only stares back at her blankly before saying, “You’re welcome Amara. May I return to my tasks?”

“Yes, Anaise. Thank you for your help,” Cullen says as he turns and gestures for Amara to follow him. Amara gives a parting smile to Anaise and turns to follow Cullen with Keran in tow. She waits until they are in a secluded spot before touching Cullen on the shoulder. 

“When do you want to meet with Lana? I feel like we’ll have better luck with her,” Amara says, folding the note carefully and putting it back in her pocket. 

Cullen turns with his head down and his hand to his forehead, rubbing his temple, “I don’t know Amara. What Anaise described sounded pretty innocent to me but I do wonder why Ser Ryam spends so much time with her.”

“I think that’s what we’re supposed to pick up on. He spends too much time with a Tranquil, a mage who’s even less equipped to defend herself. Maybe he’s planning to make her his next victim. I think that’s what the note is trying to tell us. Maybe the others are actual victims. We can’t stop now.”

Cullen stares at her for a moment before sighing and shaking his head, “Perhaps you are right. We can see her in a few days time. I want to observe Ryam myself and see if I can’t find something more productive to do.” He smirks slightly and says, “I will let you know when I am ready to speak to Lana. Expect me in a couple of days.”

“Alright. I hope you catch the bastard doing something he’s not supposed to,” Amara says as she watches Cullen turn and leave. He waves a hand at her with his back turned to her as he continues to leave. Amara smiles slightly and then turns to Keran, “How about lunch?”

* * *

She is running through the forest, the wind in her fur. She can hear the crunch of leaves as her paws strike the ground. Her tongue is out and she is deliriously happy as she chases a hare. She lets out an excited bark as she gains ground on her hapless victim. She doesn’t actually intend to catch the hare; she’s only in it for the thrill of the chase. The dodging and weaving in and out of trees, the smells of the forest on a fall day, the feel of the earth beneath her feet are enough to brighten any day. At least in the form of a hound. Amara has always been a small, red hound but a hound nonetheless. And hounds need to hunt and chase. 

She’s back in the forest outside Denerim. She recognizes the trees, the smells, and even this particular rabbit. In the back of her mind, she knows she’s dreaming but it doesn’t seem to matter as she’s lost in the joy of her chase. Her heart is racing as fast as her feet when the hare suddenly disappears down a hole. She stops and sticks her snout in the hole, then lets loose a mournful howl as she realizes her game is done.  _ Ah well, time to go home anyway,  _ she thinks as she turns around and begins trotting back to camp. 

She could change back into her human form but being a dog in the forest is so much more exciting. Not only can she smell everything, but she can hear things she’d never be able to as a human. She can hear a squirrel a few trees away chewing on a nut and she can also hear a nest of baby birds calling to their mother. She loves to be in animal form because she can experience the world in an entirely different way. 

As she walks, she begins to hear something else that’s not part of the forest. She stops and perks up her ears as she listens more closely. In the distance she can hear shouting and cursing and she can also smell smoke. It’s all in the direction of camp. Of home. 

She begins to run full speed again, this time her heart is racing for another reason. When she arrives at the camp, she sees Quinn, the mage who taught her fire spells, cut down by a templar. To her left, she sees Solona facing off against two templars. Amara charges for the one on Solona’s left and leaps to grab his sword arm. 

Luckily, the templar is distracted by Solona and doesn’t see the little, red hound coming towards him. However, Amara’s attempts are in vain as her mouth covers plate gauntlets. Her teeth hurt and her mouth feels jarred by the impact but she doesn’t let go. The templar, shocked but still aware, flings Amara off him. She flies through the air and lets out a yelp as she hits a pile of wood. 

Solona looks terrified as she watches Amara fly through the air. “RUN Amara! Get out of here!” She screams as the templars close in on her. “NOW!”

As Solona screams, Amara bursts awake in a cold sweat. Her heart is racing and she can already feel the tears welling in her eyes as she throws the blanket off herself. Her chest constricts as she feels panic set in and it takes her a moment to realize she’s not in the forest any longer. She swings her feet over the side of the bed and then puts her head in her hands as she begins to sob. 

Almost every night since her Harrowing, she’s had some sort of nightmare about Solona. In the weeks since she’s been at the Gallows, she’s seen Solona killed, made Tranquil, or even both. Tonight is the first time she’s relived the day Solona was captured. Or at least, she assumes she was captured and not worse. 

_ But if she is really Tranquil, then maybe death would have been a better option… _ She hasn’t stopped thinking about what the demon showed her and she’s not entirely sure if some of her dreams are influenced by a spirit or demon showing her true glimpses of Solona’s fate. After all, mages dream in the Fade and can be visited by spirits and demons alike. 

_ I _ _ need to get out of here,  _ she thinks as she stands and pulls on her robe. She goes to the door and quietly tries the latch, hoping that Keran was careless and forgot to lock her in. Her heart does a leap when she hears the click of the door and she quietly opens it. She sticks her head outside and sees nothing but dim light from burning torches. The hall is absolutely abandoned and she thanks the Maker for her stroke of luck. 

She steps outside of her room and shuts the door quietly behind her. Then, calling on her magic she takes the form of a tabby cat. She usually prefers her hound form but for stealth, she needs the agility and grace of a cat.  _ They can’t catch a cat,  _ she inwardly smirks as she begins slowly walking down the hallway. 

She doesn’t know what her plan is. Although escape would be nice, she knows she doesn’t have much of a chance with her phylactery still in place.  _ I could look for it,  _ she thinks idly but she knows that’s pointless. The Gallows is huge and the phylactery could be anywhere. Not to mention probably well guarded and sealed away with the best locks money could buy. She never was a good lockpick. And that doesn’t even include the magical wards that are probably in place too. 

So she casually strolls around the Gallows, just enjoying the night air. She even gets a friendly pet from a passing templar, which both entertains and disgusts her.  _ He treats a cat better than his fellow humans _ . She recognizes him as the same templar who kicked a mage who had fallen, forcing him to get up quickly without making sure he was okay. She rolls her feline eyes as she continues wandering, eventually finding herself on the battlements of the Gallows. 

From up here, she can see the city of Kirkwall across the water. It’s a beautiful sight and the sound of the water is soothing to her. She sits quietly and stares out at the city, letting the cool night air calm her frayed nerves. She becomes lost in thought and doesn’t hear when someone else approaches. She turns her head and in the moonlight she can make out the form of another templar. At least, she assumes he’s a templar since he’s in a tunic and dark pants and not the usual robes worn by mages here. He seems distraught as he places his elbows on the walls and leans forward, throwing up over the side of the Gallows. 

“Maker’s breath,” he mumbles as he wipes his mouth but continues to lean over the wall.  _ That’s the captain’s voice,  _ Amara thinks as she steps a little closer, wondering if she should reveal herself. Deciding against better judgement, Amara returns to her human form and sits on the wall with her legs crossed. 

“Having a rough night, are we?” She says, causing Cullen to jump back and reach for his sword, which isn’t there. 

“Wha-- Who--, Amara? What are you doing out of your quarters?” He almost yells the last part but keeps his voice down so others cannot hear him. “If you’re trying to escape, I’l--”

“If I was trying to escape, I would be doing a pisspoor job of it,” she says as she hops off the wall. “I had a--, well I had a bad dream and I needed air. Keran forgot to lock me in tonight.”

Cullen looks at her hesitantly but begins to relax slightly as he returns to his post at the wall. “I can understand bad dreams. I have them too…” He trails off and looks out over the city, as if regretting saying too much. 

Amara can see the tension in his shoulders at the mention of his nightmares and she can’t help but feel a little sympathetic for him. After all, in terms of templars, the Knight-Captain is definitely one of the better ones. Part of her wants to reach out and touch his shoulder but she decides against it, instead moving to stand beside him. 

“I dreamed about the day the woman I considered my mother was captured,” Cullen turns his head to look at her as she speaks. “There was a whole camp of us and most of them were murdered for defending their home. I don’t even know if Solona was captured or killed. Saying she was captured is just wishful thinking on my part…” Amara says this quietly, looking down at her feet.

“Is Solona the one you considered your mother?” Cullen asks this gently as Amara nods her head. “I’m sorry to hear that… I hope she’s alive still.” He says this awkwardly but genuinely.

Amara feels anger flare within her as he apologizes, wanting to blame all templars for her misfortune. After all, if Cullen had been there, he probably would have done the same thing.  _ No, that’s not fair. He doesn’t seem like that… _ Instead of snapping at him, she sighs and looks out at the city again. 

“I just wish I knew for certain. Ever since my Harrowing, it’s been on my mind a lot more. I just can’t shake the feeling that something bad has happened,” she pauses, wondering why she’s revealing all of this to Cullen.  _ I doubt he even cares _ , she thinks as she stops talking, slightly embarrassed by her speech. 

"Why can’t you stop thinking about it?” He looks at Amara with a sincerity that makes her heart skip a beat. “What happened at your Harrowing?”

“A demon showed me Solona as a Tranquil. I know that doesn’t mean a lot to you but as a mage, it’s a fate worse than death.”

"You speak as if I don’t care when a mage is turned Tranquil but I do. It’s a horrible but necessary act.”

“Says the Templar who isn’t turned into a lifeless shell!”

“Says the Templar who has seen what abominations can do.” He says this with such ferocity, Amara takes a step back. “I’ve seen the hell they can unleash and if you had seen what I have, you’d understand why we need the Rite of Tranquility.”

Amara is stunned by this outburst of emotion from the usually stoic Knight-Captain. At first she wants to apologize but instead she straightens to her full height so her head is even with Cullen’s shoulder. 

“And if you’d seen what I’ve experienced, you’d see how cruel templars can be.” She turns on her heel and transforms back into a cat, running at full speed to her chambers. Once inside the relative safety of her room, she begins to cry again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my best friend and husband for editing my story!


	9. The One Who Seals

It is two days before Amara hears from Cullen again. Although she wants to continue the investigation, she is grateful for the time apart from the knight-captain. After their argument, Amara is no longer sure she can consider Cullen a friend. She’s not even sure she would have called him one before but he was definitely closer then. Either way, the investigation must continue and she’d be damned if an argument stopped that. 

She waits quietly with Keran in the library. Keran had told her that morning that Cullen wished to speak to her again. She feels nervous as she waits for Cullen, which is a new sensation for her. They had argued plenty of times before and she’d never felt any different about meeting him. Something about his outburst on the battlements had been off, as if he were revealing a secret about himself that he didn’t want her to know. It felt strange knowing something personal about the knight-captain, even if he hadn’t fully revealed what had happened to him. To know he had obviously been seriously hurt in the past was enough to make Amara feel somewhat closer to him and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. 

When he approaches, Amara begins to grab her elbow in a submissive stance but stops herself, not wanting to appear awkward or weak after their argument. She straightens her back and watches as he walks to them, wondering if he feels the same as her. He stops in front of them and stops to speak but there is an awkward pause amongst them. Amara notices his hand start to rise, as if going for the back of his neck but he stops himself and straightens his posture upon noticing Amara. 

“Shall we begin?” He says brusquely as he begins walking away. So he’s just as stubborn as me… She thinks to herself as her and Keran begin following the knight-captain.

* * *

This place smells awful, Amara thinks as she takes the last step into the rookery, just behind Cullen. Sounds of hundreds of birds fluttering their wings, calling to each other, or eating seeds assaults her ears as she follows the knight-captain further in. There is a strong musty smell to the place and in the rays of sunshine, Amara can see dust and feathers floating in the wind. Behind her she can hear Keran sniffle, probably affected by all the dust in the room. 

“Mage Lana?” Cullen calls as they work their way through the room. Towards the back, Amara can hear someone fiddling with a cage and she assumes it must be the mage they’re looking for. She touches Cullen’s elbow and nudges him in the direction the noise is coming from. 

“Yes?” A soft voice calls back as they approach a young woman in her mid-twenties. She has blonde hair and bright green eyes. On her arm is a large raven with a note attached to its leg. Without speaking to them again, Lana turns and releases the raven to the outside, watching it fly away before turning back to the trio. “How can I help you knight-captain?” Amara notices Lana looks tired and pale, almost like she’s been recently ill. Poor thing.

Amara steps forward and smiles, “Actually, I need to ask you some questions if you don’t mind. Questions about a templar named Ser Ryam.” She looks back at Cullen and Keran before continuing, “We can speak alone if it makes things easier for you.”

Lana’s eyes widen for just a second at the mention of Ser Ryam but she recovers her facial expression quickly. When she speaks again, it is in a breathy voice, as if it’s hard for her to speak, “No, no. That won’t be necessary. I-- I don’t know a Ser Ryam.”

Amara raises an eyebrow, not believing Lana. She smiles softly, trying to look more trustworthy. I really wish Cullen and Keran didn’t insist on coming with me everywhere. “Are you sure? If there’s anything you need to report, you can trust us. We’re trying to help. We have reason to believe he hasn’t been the most well-behaved templar in the Circle.”

Again, Lana shakes her head and begins to back away, clearly wanting to escape. “No, I don’t have anything to say. He’s never been anything but professional with m--”

“But just a moment ago, you said you didn’t know him.”

Lana’s eyes widen at her mistake but she shakes her head, “I m-m-mispoke. I don’t know him. I thought you said Ser Ryan.”

Amara continues pushing, eager to finally have some proof against Ser Ryam. “Lana please, if you speak against him, then we can get rid of him. We know what he is but we need more proof.”

“He won’t leave me alone. It’s almost every night. I’m never alone anymore.” Lana begins to sob as she begins to back away from Amara.

“Who do you mean? Who won’t leave you alone? Ser Ryam?” Amara asks, taking a step forward. Without thinking, Keran follows her.

“HIM! He won’t leave me alone. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I hear his voice when I close my eyes and feel his breath on my neck. It makes my skin crawl but what he says is so… appealing,” Lana continues to step back with her head in her hands. Tears are running down her face and her voice gets softer as she speaks, as if listening to someone else. 

Cullen begins to take a step forward as well, his hand going instinctively to his sword pommel. Amara doesn’t notice as she continues to plead with Lana. “Please, Lana. Talk to us! We can help you!”

Suddenly, the air turns icy as Lana backs herself into a corner. She places her head in her hands and when she speaks, it’s through someone else’s voice. “I said NO!” Amara stifles a scream as she watches Lana’s small body twist and turn in ways no human body should. Her skin turns brown as her torso explodes into a lopsided mass with an inhuman face. Her hands turn to deadly claws as she begins to laugh in a demonic voice. 

“No man will ever hurt me again!” She screams, her voice mixed with the demonic one, as she lunges forward toward Amara. Amara freezes, having never seen an abomination in her life. She looks in terror as the monster flies towards her. 

Cullen pushes her back as he meets the demon's claws with his sword. “Keran, get Amara out of here!” He yells as he pushes the demon back, bringing up his shield.

But Amara shakes her head at Keran, not about to pass up a fight. Instead, she grabs the staff off her back, the one she uses for her classes, and sends a frost bolt at the abomination, hoping to slow it down. The spell only seems to anger it as it charges at Cullen again. He fends off the attack. “Go, Amara! Now!”

She still doesn’t listen to Cullen as she stands next to him, this time trapping the abomination in a cone of cold. Ice forms along its body and encases it. “Kill it now, Cullen!” She yells as Keran takes a place beside her and begins to move towards the demon. Before Cullen can stop him, the abomination unfreezes itself and charges forward, “Shit, shit, shit!” She screams as she hops out of the way just in time. The demon slams into several raven cages, causing some to escape and the others to caw loudly. The scene is chaotic and is enough to make Amara feel like her head is spinning. 

While the demon is trying to readjust itself, Amara hits it again with a frostbolt, this time, luckily, freezing it. Cullen doesn’t miss his opportunity and stabs the thing in its back. Keran does the same and as his sword pierces the creature’s skin, an unearthly howl emanates from it. All three of them cover their ears as the creature screams then lies lifeless on the ground. 

Amara drops her staff and puts her head in her hands, trembling. “I caused this. I caused her to invite the demon in… I just wouldn’t let it go.” She backs into a table and leans against it as she begins to sob. Her heart is pounding from the fight and she feels dizzy from the adrenaline. The sounds of upset birds only adds to her misery as tears stream down her dusty face.

“Keran, go tell your lieutenant what happened here. We’ll need someone to get rid of the body,” as Cullen says this, he points to the direction out. Keran leaves and Cullen turns to Amara seeming unsure of what to do. He steps in front of her and starts to place a hand on her shoulder but stops himself. “It isn’t your fault Amara,” he says softly.

Amara looks up at him, her face tear-streaked. She begins to speak but stops herself and instead pushes past him. She runs from the rookery, headed for the solitude of her room.

* * *

She’s running through the forest of Denerim in the shape of the hound once more. Everything is as before, the forest, the hare, the unbridled joy. The dream is soothing because there is no sign of the camp, just the chase and the happiness it brings. She can feel the dirt beneath her paws, the wind in her ears, and she can smell the hare as she gets ever closer to it. Only this time, she intends to catch her prey and as she gets closer, she can feel her mouth begin salivating. 

But as she gets closer, the scent begins to change from a rabbit into something like sulfur. The wind no longer feels cool and soothing but icy and bitter. She can feel the hair along her hackles begin to rise and suddenly the hare begins to change before her eyes. It becomes a pretty woman with blonde hair and green eyes. Lana. At first she’s smiling and then her smile turns malicious. A laugh begins to fall out of her and as it grows, it sounds less and less human. Soon, the girl is gone and in her place is a rage demon. It glows with a fiery hatred and continues to laugh as Amara skids to a halt. 

“You did this. You did this! Muhahaha!” It screams with hysterical laughter as it begins to claw her to pieces. 

Amara awakes in a cold sweat and fights back the urge to vomit. She feels her body, almost certain that she’ll feel the demon’s claw marks on her. She brings her knees to her chest and begins to hyperventilate. She tries to calm her breathing but she can’t. I need air. I need out of here! She jumps from her bed and heads for the door, hoping no one stopped by to lock it. She gasps through her tears as she hears the click of the door. Stepping out into the hallway, still in her nightgown, she quietly closes the door behind her before taking the form of a cat. 

Again, as the little tabby she crosses the Gallows and heads for the same spot on the battlements as before. Without really thinking, she transforms back into herself and leans her back against the wall. She slides down, the stone rough on her back, as sobs rack her entire body. She puts her head on her knees, disappointed that the night air doesn’t bring her any relief. 

“Amara?” A quiet voice calls to her. She jumps, certain she’s been caught as she looks up and sees Cullen staring at her. She quickly wipes her eyes and stands, suddenly very aware she’s in her nightgown. Her cheeks blush as she snaps, “What do you want?”

Cullen ignores her tone and takes a step closer to her. “I was hoping you’d be here. I—”

“So you were waiting for me?” She says this harshly and glares at him, knowing she’s being irrational. I just want to be left alone. 

Cullen growls in frustration and runs his hand through his hair, “Maker, woman. Can’t you make anything easy? I simply wanted to see how you were doing!” 

Amara straightens, her anger flared by his tone, “I don’t need you to check up on me! I’m fine!” She yells, not caring if anyone overhears her. 

“Forget it,” Cullen huffs as he turns and begins to leave. 

Amara starts to fall back to the ground but the image of Lana as an abomination comes back into her mind. Fresh tears form in her eyes, as a chill runs down her spine, and she suddenly realizes she doesn’t want to be alone. She looks up at Cullen who is almost to the stairs when she calls for him, “Cullen, wait.”

He stops but doesn’t move to turn around. Amara holds her breath, hoping he’ll come back because she no longer wants to face her thoughts alone. Slowly he turns and walks back to her, a scowl on his face, “What?”

Amara stands and before she knows what she’s doing, she throws her arms around his waist and begins to sob into his shoulder. She can feel his muscles tense as she touches him and his hands stick out, unsure of what to do, but she doesn’t care. “All I keep seeing is her face turning into that— that thing. It’s all my fault,” she continues to cry into his shoulder, her body shaking. 

Slowly, Cullen wraps his arms around her waist and says quietly, “It’s not your fault, Amara. You didn’t know what would happen.” He awkwardly rubs his hand down her back, in an attempt to soothe her. 

“No”, she says as she looks into his eyes, “If I hadn’t pushed her so hard, she wouldn’t have agreed to let the demon in. She didn’t want to face it and I shouldn’t have tried to make her. I got so caught up in having a testimony that I forgot about her. I’m terrible.”

“No, you’re human. You made a mistake but you didn’t drive her to that demon. Ryam did.” Cautiously, he raises his hand to her face and brushes away a couple of tears. Amara stares deeply into his eyes and slowly begins to move forward, as does he. 

But a cough on the stairs causes them to break apart and Amara to transform back into a cat, as Ser Ryam comes into view. He is in his full armor and seems to be on patrol through the Gallows. He smiles when he sees Cullen and the cat. 

“Pettin’ a pretty pussy are we captain? You know, the Blooming Rose has plenty of them and some might even let you pet them for free. Or at least cheaper than what us common looking bastards pay.” He spits over the side of the battlements as Cullen begins to speak.

“No, I was just about to go to bed. I-,” he is interrupted as Ryam begins to talk to Amara in cat form. 

“Why she is a pretty pussy, isn’t she?” Ryam says as he bends down to pick Amara up. Amara hisses at him and curses herself for being too slow. Ser Ryam lifts her up and holds her in front of his face. “She’s a pretty girl, she is! How about you come liv-”

Amara swats him across the face with all of her claws out. Ryam curses loudly and drops her. As she falls, she catches Cullen’s smirk before she hits the ground. She turns and begins running as fast as she can back to her quarters.

“I’ll kill that little bitch if I see her again!” She hears as she continues her sprint. When she reaches her room, she closes the door behind her and slides down it to the floor. She laughs softly as she places her hands on her knees and her head in her hands. The tears have subsided but the memory of today and her nightmare still remain. She sighs and stands, feeling a little lighter for having smacked Ser Ryam. Crawling into bed, she lays her head on her pillow and wills herself to sleep, hoping for kinder dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Happy Thanksgiving! :)


	10. The One Who Kneels

For the next several days, the Gallows is abuzz with news of Lana’s demise. There are always rumors or stories of abominations found out in Kirkwall or even tales of failed Harrowings, but it’s a rarity to hear of an abomination within the Gallows. Especially an abomination created from a well established mage. It’s all Amara’s fellow classmates can talk about and it is driving her crazy. Luckily, there’s been no mention of her own involvement, probably from where she fled the scene shortly after Lana’s death. 

“I heard it was the knight-captain that found her,” says one of the classmates, a short, stocky girl with black hair. Amara can never remember her name. 

“I heard he was the reason she became an abomination in the first place,” Dannem says, a boy from Amara’s elements class. “He was probably trying to have his way with her.”

Amara slams the book she’s trying to read onto the table in front of her, causing the gossips to jump. “Don’t ever say that about him,” she says, her eyes ablaze with anger.

“Since when are you cozy with the templars?” Asks Dannem, starting to become angry himself.

“I’m not. I’m just smart enough to know the difference between the good ones and the bad ones.” She stands quickly, leaving her book behind as she storms off. Ser Keran gives a derisive look at the two mages and then turns to follow Amara. 

“It was right of you to defend the captain,” Keran says as he walks behind Amara, quickly catching up to her in the library. 

“It was right but I don’t know if it was smar-” She stops mid-sentence as she bumps into Cullen. The impact from his armor causes her to reel for a moment and upon seeing this, Cullen reaches out and grabs both of her elbows to steady her. For the first time, Amara feels electricity at his touch and it surprises her. Her face turns red as she quickly pulls her arms away. Remembering what almost happened the night before, Amara wonders if Cullen feels the same as she does. She’s pleasantly surprised when she looks at his face and sees his ears are crimson but he’s wearing a smirk. A smirk she finds herself beginning to like. 

“Amara, I’ve been looking for you. I wanted to see how you were doing after yesterday,” he looks down at her and gives her a sympathetic smile. Amara doesn’t tell him that she’s been avoiding him for most of the day by going to places she normally doesn’t. This reading room for instance, is a place she normally stays away from, preferring the training grounds instead. There’s always some new spell to practice or someone to teach down there. She finds it much more preferable to reading.

“I am…,” she wasn’t really sure what she was. “I am doing alright, all things considered. I… am slowly accepting that it wasn’t my fault.”

“Good because you shouldn’t blame yourself,” he replies softly. He starts to raise his hand to touch her shoulder but stops himself before clearing his throat. “Have you made any progress on the last clue?”

Amara is surprised by his question, figuring he would want to terminate the investigation like the first time they’d met an obstacle. She smiles slightly at the change but shakes her head. “I can’t think of anything. I’ve been going over it and over it in my mind but nothing.” She sighs, shrugging her shoulders.

Before Cullen can respond, Keran speaks up, “I think I know what it means.” Amara and Cullen both turn around to face him.

He hesitates, seeming uncomfortable with the attention but continues, “Well at first I thought kneeling meant when a knight kneels for his vigil, which made me think of a templar. But then, Ryam wouldn’t dare touch another templar, at least I think. Then I thought that when you pray, you kneel. So maybe a mage that prays a lot?”

Amara is about to object to Keran’s reasoning but Cullen speaks first, “I think you might be onto something. There is a young woman who insists on going to the Chantry every day. She didn’t start making the requests until a couple of months ago. Right before Amara arrived, actually.” He looks to Keran and then Amara. “Her name is Brida.”

Amara smiles widely and kisses Keran on the cheek. “Thank you! We couldn’t have figured it out without you!” Keran blushes but smiles sheepishly as Amara turns to Cullen, “Do you think we can speak with her soon?”

Cullen looks at them disapprovingly, causing both to turn red. “We can meet her tomorrow in the library. I’ll be sure to bring her there.”

“Shouldn’t we try to speak to her in the Chantry? She may feel more comfortable there,” Amara asks, hoping for a chance to get out of the Gallows.

“No. After Lana, I’d rather not have to deal with an abomination in the Chantry. I won’t risk it,” Cullen says authoritatively. “I can guide her to the library without raising alarm. She has come to trust me since allowing her trips to the Chantry.”

“Then tomorrow in the library it is then.”

* * *

Later that evening, Amara sits alone in the library reading a tome about rejuvenation spells. Why is this so hard? She thinks as she tries to understand the intricacies of casting the spell. Her eyes droop and so does her head as she tries to stay awake. Behind her, she can hear Ser Keran speaking to someone but she simply tunes it out, too tired to focus beyond her task at hand. 

“Ser Ryam has to wear an eye patch because of you,” Cullen’s voice says quietly behind her, causing her to jump. 

She turns around in her seat, about to snap at him for saying that out loud when she realizes they’re alone. Even Keran is gone. “What do you mean he has to wear one because of me?”

Cullen smiles as he sits down beside her, “The healers said they couldn’t do much to save the eye, although I have my doubts about that claim. I told him he should stop playing with ‘pretty pussies’ in the future. I felt vulgar saying it but couldn’t resist.” He smirks and Amara begins to laugh quietly, not wanting to draw attention to them, should someone walk into the library. 

She smiles at Cullen, “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. I needed that, thank you. And that’s the least that bastard deserves.” She smiles again and sighs before asking, “Where did Keran go?”

Cullen smiles at her, “I let him go so he could have--- drinks with some of the other recruits at the Blooming Rose.”

“You mean the whorehouse? He goes there too much for my taste.”

“You know what it is?” Cullen asks, his ears reddening.

“It’s called ‘The Blooming Rose’. Not exactly very subtle in its meaning.” She laughs at his horrified expression. “I figured it out after he told me the third time he was going there.. It seemed odd to want to go out for drinks three nights in a row…”

“Three nights? Perhaps I need to make training a bit more rigorous, so our recruits are too tired at night.” He chuckles slightly and then notices the exhaustion in Amara’s eyes. “Are you alright?”

Amara sighs and looks at Cullen through tired eyes, “I’m fine, just tired. I haven’t been able to sleep since Lana.” She closes her eyes and bites her lower lip. “Every time I close my eyes, I hear her screaming.” Tears begin to form as she tries to hold them back. “I can’t stop blaming myself for being so careless.” She places her head in her hands, hiding her face from Cullen. 

He looks around to make sure they’re alone, before gently pulling Amara’s hand from her face. In almost a whisper he says, “You can’t keep blaming yourself. Seeing an abomination for the first time is horrible, believe me. But you can’t go on blaming yourself for something you didn’t cause. Ryam is the one who pushed her to the demon, not you.” Self-consciously, he lets go of her hand, his face reddening at his boldness. 

Amara feels disappointed as he releases her but she shakes her head, having a hard time believing his words. “Then why can’t I shake the feeling that if we hadn’t gone to her, she’d still be alive? Maybe Ryam would have left her alone eventually or--”

“You and I both know that’s not true. On what we’ve learned, we know his victims are in constant fear of his advances. It’s unfortunate what happened but we can still get the bastard. We still have one more woman to speak to.”

“But what if it’s another dead end? Lana was coherent and able to tell us the truth but I messed it up. I pushed and pushed until she broke. I don’t know if I can handle another failure.” She hiccups slightly, as a sob begins to rack her entire body. She hates crying in front of Cullen but the tears won’t stop. She stands suddenly and walks over to a window wiping her face with her sleeve. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so emotional. I think I’m just exhausted.”

Cullen stands too and follows her. He reaches out and touches her shoulder. The contact causes Amara to turn and embrace him, placing her head on his shoulder as she cries even more. This time, being more prepared for the touch, Cullen wraps his arms around her. She looks into his golden eyes and sees nothing but concern. Concern for her, which makes her heart rate increase. She begins to lean forward again, as does Cullen. They both look at each other nervously before Amara closes her eyes. Just before their lips would touch, Cullen pulls away from her, looking awkward and ashamed. He clears his throat before saying, “Tomorrow’s a big day and you need to get some sleep.”

To say she’s disappointed would be an understatement but Amara understands his hesitation. In fact, she wonders why she seems to have a lack of it. I’m tired and stupid. She thinks as she nods at Cullen, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. “You’re right. I just need to grab my book and then we can go.”

The walk back to her quarters seems longer than usual as they both remain silent. Amara feels embarrassed and somewhat rejected. I have more important things to worry about, she resolves as Cullen opens her door for her. 

“Good night Cullen.”

“Good night Amara.”

She turns around and heads for her bed as she hears the door shut and lock behind her. Exhausted, she doesn’t bother removing her clothes as she lays her head on her pillow. The night brings no nightmares but odd dreams involving the knight-captain.

* * *

Brida is a full-figured woman with black hair and dusky-skin. Her eyes are emeralds and her full-lips continually mutter the Chant of Light as Cullen leads her towards Amara and Keran. Amara raises an eyebrow at Cullen as they approach, noticing Brida’s odd habit. Cullen simply shrugs his shoulders before speaking. “Brida, this is Amara and she’d like to ask you a few questions.”

Brida stops her chanting to look Amara in the eyes. She looks tired, much like Lana, but not quite as exhausted. Her eyes seem distant, as if she is lost in thought or deep contemplation. Amara smiles gently at her. “Hello Brida. I’d like to ask you some questions, if that’s alright?”

“And Eileen spoke unto the masses,  
‘My hearth is yours, my bread is yours, my life is yours.  
For all who walk in the sight of the Maker are one.’” 

Brida says this quietly, causing Amara, Keran, and Cullen to all look at each other confused. 

“Uh, I’ll take that as a yes?” Amara asks tentatively as Brida nods her head in agreement. “My question is about Ser Ryam. Do you know him?”

“Foul and corrupt are you  
Who have taken my gift  
And turned it against my children.”

Brida looks solemn as she says this but adds nothing to it to clarify her meaning. Amara raises her eyebrows but keeps her voice gentle as she begins to fight back her frustration. 

“Are you saying Ser Ryam is corrupt? Has he done something to you?” She stares hopefully at Brida, hoping for some kind of clearer answer. 

“Those who bear false witness  
And work to deceive others, know this:  
There is but one Truth.  
All things are known to our Maker  
And He shall judge their lies.”

Amara fights back the urge to smile, feeling like she’s getting somewhere. This could be it! She feels her excitement growing as she continues her questioning. “What has he done to you?”

“And so is the Golden City blackened  
With each step you take in my Hall.  
Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.  
You have brought Sin to Heaven…” 

Tears begin to form in Brida’s eyes as she says this last part of the Chant. However, she continues to look ahead, as if unable to fully react to her emotions.

Amara reaches out and places her hands on Brida’s shoulders. She speaks softly, trying to reassure the ailing woman. “Brida, we can help you fight him but we need you to speak in… clearer terms.”

Amara knows exactly what she means and by the looks on Keran and Cullen’s faces, she can tell they do as well. But it’s not enough, or at least she senses it’s not enough. It will be hard enough to convince Meredith that one of her Templars is corrupt. Adding a witness who only speaks in the Chant would only make things more difficult. 

Brida’s eyes seem to uncloud at Amara’s words. She stares into Amara’s eyes, as if seeing her for the first time. She looks sad as she softly says, “No.”

The answer is simple but solid. Amara begins to plead with Brida but stops herself, having learned her lesson from Lana. Instead, she simply asks, “Why?”

“The one who repents, who has faith,  
Unshaken by the darkness of the world,  
She shall know true peace.”

As she begins reciting the Chant, her eyes become distant once more and look away from Amara. Sighing, Amara shakes her head and looks to Cullen. “I think we’ve reached another dead end.” She can feel her heart in her throat as she fights back tears of her own. 

Cullen gives Amara a sympathetic look. “Come Brida, I will escort you to your quarters.” As they turn to leave, Keran places a hand on Amara’s shoulder. Amara sighs softly, placing her hand on Keran’s, grateful for a friendly touch. 

“I’m ready to go to my quarters, Keran.”

* * *

She stands in the middle of the Gallows courtyard. There is a dense fog all around her and the wind has an icy chill to it. In her peripheral vision, she thinks she can see shadows moving around her at inhuman speeds. The air feels heavy with the sounds of strange whispers as her heartbeat quickens and she begins to feel fear. She reaches for the staff on her back or sword at her hip but finds nothing as she slowly backs away from whatever she can sense is in the fog. She can see her breath in the air as she begins to yell for help but no sound comes out of her.   
She starts to panic and looks around frantically for a way out but she can see nothing through the eerie mist. Tears begin to form in her eyes as true fear sets in. 

Three figures appear in the fog, each quietly chanting, “You failed us. You failed us. You failed us.” As they come closer, Amara can make out the faces of Anaise, Lana, and Brida.

“I’m sorry!” She says as she continues to back away. “I tried my best! I didn’t mean to fail you!” She screams the last part almost hysterically, tears falling freely down her face. “I only wanted to help!”

“By turning me into an abomination?” The figure of Lana screeches as she begins to transform again. Her skin distorts and shreds as the demon makes its presence known. She screams in agony as claws form out of her delicate hands. 

Amara tries to look away but she can no longer move as the figures come closer. But Lana isn’t the only abomination forming. Anaise and Brida begin to change too. Anaise keeps chanting, “You failed us. You failed us. '' Brida speaks in a garbled tongue that almost sounds like the Chant of Light being spoken backwards. 

Amara screams and closes her eyes as the three surround her. She can hear her own clothing tearing as the abominations begin to tear her apart.

Her screams wake her as her eyes open wide and she sits up in the bed, holding back her vomit. This is by far the worst nightmare she has ever had and it’s all she can do to not continue her screams. Amara places her head in hands and sobs. 

“I’m sorry,” she says through her sobs, “I’m so sorry. I failed you all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the continued views, subscriptions, and kudos! I love seeing the numbers go up! :) I hope everyone keeps sticking around because this story is just getting started!


	11. Retribution

“We have to do something Cullen. Even if we don’t ‘have enough evidence,’ which I think we do.” She practically yells at Cullen in the quiet of a solitary common area, not caring if anyone besides Keran overhears her. 

“If we take what we have in front of Meredith, she’ll laugh us out of her office. I’m sorry ,Amara, but there’s nothing we can do.” He yells back too, as Keran shrinks into a corner, not wanting to come between the two of them. 

“How can you say that? After everything we’ve seen? You’re going to tell me that Meredith wouldn’t be able to piece together why one woman became an abomination and the other lost her mind?” She slams her fist on the table between her and Cullen to add emphasis to her questions. “You did say that Brida had been normal when she first approached you about going to the Chantry.”

“It’s all circumstantial, Amara. I can’t change that and I know what I said. Meredith will just write it off.” He sighs, putting his hand to his forehead. “Everything we have is based on assumptions.”

Amara turns her back to him, running her hands through her hair. She sighs exasperatedly, “What about the way he follows Anaise? You said he does follow her way more than he should. That has to send some kind of red flag?”

“Again, it’s all assumptions. Amara, I know it’s difficult, but we have to admit we’ve lost here.”

She spins quickly around, her voice full of venom, “Won’t you even try? Or are you too much of a coward to do what’s right?” She glares at him, wanting nothing more than to continue screaming at him. “I thought you were better than that.”

Cullen returns her glare and looks to Keran, “Take her to her quarters Keran. I believe Amara has had enough stimulation for one day.” He turns his back to her, about to walk away. 

“So you are a coward. I should have known you wouldn’t help. You and Ryam are just alike. Both selfishly taking and not giving a damn about anyone else.” As Keran goes to grab her arm, she turns and walks herself out of the room. Cullen hangs his head after she leaves, unsure of what to do next. 

* * *

Locked away in her quarters, Amara paces the small room back and forth. Back and forth. She’s angry, enraged even. She’s angry at her situation, Ser Ryam, at Cullen, but mostly… she’s angry at herself. She’s angry that she has failed in getting rid of Ser Ryam and she’s angry at her hurtful words to Cullen. She shouldn’t have compared him to Ser Ryam, but in the heat of their argument, she wasn’t thinking rationally. 

She sighs and takes a seat on the edge of her bed.  _ What am I going to do now?  _ She thinks as she looks around her room, wishing for some way to escape. She begins to grab a book from her desk when she hears a knock on the door. The door opens and Amara is surprised to see Cullen staring at her. 

Her face reddens, but before she can speak, he cuts her off. “You were right. I was being a coward. I’ve gotten Meredith to agree to see us in an hour’s time. I’m sorry I didn’t try before.”

“No, Cullen, I need to apologize. I’m sorry and I didn’t mean what I said. You were only trying to be logical, but I am thankful you got her to agree to speak with us. I think we may be able to build a strong enough case to at least have her look into Ryam herself.”

He looks doubtful as he nods, “Thank you Amara. Keran is currently training with the other recruits. I can escort you to wherever you desire until our meeting.”

“I do need to return my tome to the library. I think there’s another one that can help with my healing.” She grabs the tome on her desk and walks past Cullen. The two head for the library, idly chatting as they go. 

* * *

Somehow, Meredith’s office seems even more daunting as Amara and Cullen step within. The room is not overly large but the presence of the woman within it gives it the feel of an interrogation chamber. Everything is in neat, perfect order, much like the woman’s appearance. Not a hair is out of place on Meredith’s head and her appearance is as rigid as her personality. Amara swallows hard, wondering if she may have made a mistake in coming. She looks down at Meredith who is reading a report at her desk. Without looking up at them, she says coldly, “So what is this about Knight-Captain?”

Cullen clears his throat before speaking and Amara wonders if he’s as intimidated by Meredith as she is, “Mage Amara and I have been conducting an investigation into the templar Ser Ryam. We believe he has been abusing his power to take advantage of young, female mages.”

Meredith looks up at this accusation, her eyes blue and icy cold , “And what evidence do you have to support such a claim?”

Amara finds her voice and pulls the mysterious note from her pocket. “It really began when I was given this note by a mage I didn’t recognize. It was dark, so I couldn’t see their face. The note gave us clues of who to speak to.”

Meredith takes the note and glances at it before saying, “How can you even make sense of this gibberish?”

“We gathered the first one to mean Anaise Roth. She was recently arrested and made Tranquil for stealing,” Cullen answers her. 

“And what, pray tell, did a Tranquil have to say about Ser Ryam?” Meredith looks at both of them skeptically, with one eyebrow raised. 

Amara can feel the heat coming up her neck as she responds, “Well, not much to be honest but we did discover that he spends too much time following her. Cullen investigated it himself and said that Anaise was truthful in saying that Ser Ryam spent a lot of time watching her.” Meredith simply stares emotionless at Amara, causing her to pause before saying, “She also helped us figure out the next clue.”

“Which led us to Mage Lana Falier, who worked in the rookery,'' Cullen says. 

“The one who recently turned into an abomination?” Meredith asks, again staring at them both coldly. 

“The very same,” Cullen answers. “We were in the middle of questioning her when she fell prey to the demon. Before her… change, she mentioned someone who came to her every night. She looked tired and worn…”

“It was the way she said it,” Amara continues, “like she’d been tortured by someone. I think the demon had been tormenting her as well, which is why she succumbed to it. She refused to talk to us about Ryam and even denied knowing him, but we caught her in her lie. That’s when she started to panic and ultimately when the demon took over.”

“I see,” Meredith says as she looks between them, her face unreadable. 

"After Lana, we were stumped for the the third clue. It was actually the recruit, Keran, who solved it,” Cullen hesitates before adding, “That led us to Brida Nata. A couple months prior, Brida had approached me to request daily Chantry visits. Due to her clean record, I saw no problem with granting her permission. When she approached me at the time, she was perfectly coherent, if perhaps a little tired.”

“But when we went to question her, she refused to speak in anything else but the Chant. Everything I asked her was met with Chantry verses, except for one ‘no’ when I asked her to speak in clearer terms regarding Ser Ryam. But, I’m almost certain she admitted to him… well... ,” Amara hates saying the word out loud, so she improvises, “violating her when she said the verse about… how did it go?” Amara hesitates, having never really studied the Chant in her life. 

“‘And so is the Golden City blackened

With each step you take in my Hall.

Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.

You have brought Sin to Heaven…’”, Cullen says quietly, hanging his head as he does so. 

“Yeah, that one,” Amara says before looking back at Meredith. “I know it’s not a lot but it’s enough to make you suspicious of what Ryam is doing to these women...” Amara trails off as she watches Meredith simply stare at her. 

When Meredith does speak, her voice is loud and icy, “You come in here with the word of a Tranquil, an abomination, and a simpleton to question one of  _ my _ templars.” She stands and slams her fists on her desk. “Get out of here before I strip you of your rank,'' she says as she glares at Cullen, "and put you through the Rite of Tranquility.” She points at her door. 

Amara’s mouth drops open at Meredith’s words, while Cullen doesn’t look shocked at all. “But-- how-- Why aren’t you listening? These women are all suffering and you won’t even look!” Amara straightens her back as she glares into Meredith’s eyes, “How can you be so cold?”

“You dare take such a tone with me?” Meredith glares back and then looks at Cullen, “Get her out of here Knight-Captain.” Meredith sits back at her desk and begins to read another report. 

Amara gasps as Cullen takes her by the elbow, “But how can you just ignore what’s in front of you? Please, just listen to us!” Amara pleads, but it falls on deaf ears as Meredith doesn’t even bother to look up from her work. She blinks back tears as she pulls her arm away from Cullen and walks out the door herself. It takes everything in her not to slam the door on her way out, but she knows she’s already pushed her limits. 

Cullen follows closely behind her as she begins to wander aimlessly in shock from her encounter with Meredith.  _ Is she even human? _ She asks herself as she fights back tears of anger.  _ Cullen was right.  _ Before she can continue, Cullen grabs her hand, which causes her to stop. 

“I know you want to be alone right now. Believe me, I can understand. But meet me tonight at the battlements. We can speak more openly then. I’ll make sure your door is unlocked.”

Amara doesn’t know what to say, so she nods her head. She doesn’t know what the knight-captain has planned, but she knows he’s right that she wants to be alone. Without further conversation, Cullen leads Amara back to her quarters. Once she’s alone in her quarters, the tears begin to flow.

* * *

Her anger is palpable. She can feel it in her stomach, as she paces back and forth in her small room. She almost feels sick; she’s so mad and there’s nothing she can do. She has never felt such a strange mix of rage and helplessness in her life. All of her wants to fight, but there’s no one to fight and no way she can. She can’t take her frustrations out on Ryam, not without being made Tranquil.  _ Maybe it would be worth it…  _ The thought is a dangerous one. If she were to follow through, she would lose everything that is her, but Ser Ryam would be gone…  _ Only for another to take his place,  _ she thinks bitterly as she sits on her bed. 

Amara is at a loss of what to do for the first time in her life. She’s always had a plan, even when trapped on the pirate ship. They weren’t always the best plans, but they were action and that’s what she needed. She had begun to see the Gallows as a kind of home, at least in the sense of a place to sleep, but now she feels trapped all over again. She places her head in her hands and sighs from frustration when she remembers Cullen’s request. Time is always hard to judge in her windowless room, but she knows it’s been at least a couple hours since Cullen left her alone. 

She stands and walks to her door, opening it just a crack. The good thing about the Gallows open design, which feels ironic in such an oppressive place, is that there is always some view of the sky. She can see stars and knows it is safe for her to leave. Stepping out into the hallway, she shuts the door behind her before transforming into the tabby cat. 

She moves quickly through the Gallows, finding the way to the battlements a familiar route. When she climbs the last step, she sees Cullen looking out over the city of Kirkwall once more. He is in a tunic and pants. She meows, drawing his attention before transforming back into herself. She’s not sure what he could want, but she’s glad to have someone to talk to. Before she can speak, he beats her to it. 

“I am sorry Amara. So incredibly sorry. I didn’t think she would be so harsh. I--,” he trails off, unsure of how to phrase his next sentence. “I am not surprised by her reaction, but I thought she would be a little more civil.”

Amara smiles half-heartedly, as she looks him in the eyes, “It’s alright Cullen. It’s no more your fault than mine.” She sighs, “But there has to be something else we can do.”

“I’ve been thinking about that and I believe I may have a solution.” He gives a half-smile as he continues, “While Meredith doesn’t believe Ryam should be relieved of duty, I am still in charge of his schedule. I can make certain he’s given the worst patrols and has the least interaction with any mage. I’ve already been doing it some, but this time, I’ll make sure it sticks.” 

Amara’s half-smile quickly fades as she stares into Cullen’s eyes. She feels her anger rise again as she says through gritted teeth, “You mean after all we’ve seen, you’re only now giving the bastard a hard time?” Part of her wants to strike him and she has to resist the urge to do so. 

“I--I,” he stammers, seemingly taken aback by her anger. 

Amara cuts him off before he can continue, “You could have done something this whole time and you chose not too? What’s wrong with you?” She shakes her head in frustration, “And you think I’m going to thank you now for doing something you should have already done?”

She turns and begins pacing the floor, “I thought you cared, but you’re either stupid or heartless to not have done something sooner!” She stops and glares at him. 

Cullen seems to find his words as his own anger starts to flare, “I am doing my best Amara, but I have other duties to attend to other than this investigation. I’m stretched thin as it is and I can only do so much. Yes, I didn’t initially start changing his schedule because I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But I started to change it as soon as I was suspicious of his true natu--”

“And was that before or after we saw Lana turn into an abomination? Or did it take Brida babbling like an idiot to realize that maybe something wasn’t right with him?” She yells this at him, no longer caring if anyone overhears her.

Cullen simply glares at her before turning on his heel to leave. Amara calls after him, “Yes, run from this like you do everything else, templar. It’s not like you really wanted to make a differenc-”

Cullen snaps back around and points his finger at her before yelling, “If you knew half of what I’d been through, you’d be amazed that I even helped you in the first place. However, I can look beyond myself and see the larger picture. I tried Amara and if that’s not good enough for you, then we’re done here.” He turns and continues walking away. 

Amara stamps her foot and growls in frustration.  _ Damn that man,  _ she thinks before turning around and transforming into the tabby cat. Once in her room, she slams the door shut and sits on her bed. She begins to cry out of anger. She’s still mad at Cullen, but she’s also mad at herself.  _ I need to learn to control my tongue _ , she thinks as she lays her head down on her pillow. While she feels she’s right for being angry at Cullen, she’s angry at herself for handling the situation like she did. She begins to cry herself to sleep, feeling like she’s lost her one true friend in the Gallows. 

* * *

The following day, no one comes for Amara. She sits in her room at her small desk and waits but no one comes. Hours pass before she begins to wonder if this is some kind of punishment. The knight-captain is many things but she never thought he could be vindictive. They have fought numerous times, but none as intense as last night. Amara wants to apologize for her reaction to his plan, but as each hour passes, her fury increases.  _ He doesn’t deserve an apology if he’s going to be like this.  _ So when a knock finally sounds on her door, she jumps. The door opens and it’s not Keran she sees but a young woman. 

“Hello Mage Amara. I am Ser Catherine and I will be escorting you to classes today.” The templar is tall with brown hair and blue eyes. She even smiles softly at Amara.

“Where’s Keran?” Amara eyes Catherine suspiciously.

“I’m not at liberty to say.” Catherine’s smile wanes just a bit and it causes Amara’s suspicions to grow.

“He’s not in trouble, is he?”

“Again, Mage Amara, I cannot tell you anything about Ser Keran. Now, gather your things or you’ll miss another class.”

Amara shakes her head and crosses her arms. “I don’t want to go to class. Take me to the Knight-Captain.”

Catherine’s smile becomes even smaller as she says, “We need to go to your class Mage Amara.”

“We need to go to the knight-captain, Ser Catherine. Now.” Amara glares at her, not backing down.

Catherine’s smile completely disappears as she says coldly to Amara, “You’re not the first stubborn mage I’ve ever dealt with. Either follow me to class or sit in your room for the rest of the day. I don’t care and you’re not going to see the knight-captain. He’s got better things to do than mess with scum like you.”

_ Well there goes the chipper exterior,  _ Amara thinks as she sits back in her chair. “I’ll see you later then Ser Catherine.”

The door slams shut as Catherine disappears. Amara hears the door lock shut and she sighs as she puts her elbow on her desk and her head in her hand.  _ And so the waiting game continues. _

* * *

After two days of isolation, Amara gladly follows Ser Catherine out of her room, hopeful for any kind of news from Keran or Cullen. Being left alone in her room hadn’t helped her worries at all. She tried to gather news from the maids who brought her food and tidied her room, but all of them refused to talk to her. She was unsure if that had been Cullen’s way of punishing her, but it seemed out of character for the Knight-Captain.  _ He always comes back after a fight _ . Maybe she had finally gone too far.

Ever since that night on the battlements, she has regretted her words. While she still thinks she was justified in her anger, she shouldn’t have taken it out on Cullen. After all, he was doing his best to help while being the second-in-command to an entire circle. He was stretched thin and Amara should have recognized that. 

_ I need to control my temper,  _ she thinks as she follows Ser Catherine to the library. Once there, she sits at a table and begins catching up on her reading for class. Having missed three days, she’s gotten pretty far behind. Ser Catherine moves around behind her, going through the aisles idly. Amara becomes so engrossed in her reading that she doesn’t notice when Meredith and Ser Ryam come up behind her.

“Stand mage,” Meredith says in her usual icy tone. She dismisses Catherine with a wave of her hand and waits for Amara to leave her chair. 

Amara does as she says quickly, not liking the way Ser Ryam is staring at her. She feels like a mouse being stared down by a one-eyed cat. 

“Follow me,” Meredith says before taking off in the direction of her office. Ser Ryam follows behind Amara and it causes her skin to prickle on the back of her neck. She doesn’t like having this horrid man behind her, but she has no choice as she follows the Knight-Commander. 

For once, Amara feels fear as she walks. Her heart is racing and she can feel sweat on her hands. She tries to steady her breathing the entire way to Meredith’s office but barely succeeds as they cross the threshold. All of her wants to run and yet she has nowhere to run to. She watches warily as Meredith takes a spot behind her desk and Ser Ryam moves to the left of her. She has no idea what’s going on and she’s terrified to find out. 

“This is the mage who has brought such ridiculous claims against you, Ser Ryam.” Meredith says, eyeing Amara. 

“That don’t surprise me none Knight-Commander. She’s not exactly my biggest fan.” Ser Ryam says this with a smile on his face as he looks Amara up and down. She shudders at his gaze. 

“Then I think it only proper that you be her guardian from now on. Prove to her that you’re as upstanding as any templar here,” Meredith looks pleased with herself and gives a smile that could turn water to ice. 

“Well I think that’s a grand idea, Knight-Commander. I’ll show her how good a templar can be. Now, let’s get you back to the library. I believe you were working on studying.” He says this so eerily politely that Amara feels the color drain from her face and her stomach drop. She looks to Meredith with pleading in her eyes but doesn’t say a word. She hopes her apparent fear will be enough to convince the Knight-Commander. 

“Do you have an objection to this arrangement, Mage Amara?” Meredith asks with a sinister smile.

All Amara can push out is a simple “No” before hanging her head. She feels absolutely defeated and wonders if this is what she deserves for her treatment of Cullen. 

“Good. You’re both dismissed,” Meredith says, as she takes a seat at her desk. 

“Come on then,” Ryam barks as he heads out the door. 

Amara quietly follows, wondering how she’s going to get out of this mess now. 


End file.
